minutes and counting...

did another running test today.. balik2 test ani.. hehe.. the last one was what.. two weeks ago kali.. that one, i did 17 mins 16 secs (badbadbad. haha).. test yg before atu 17:22 (walking one lap).. before atu was my trial, 18mins.. sebelum atu lagi, i did 4 laps, vomitted and stopped :p.. this year, i started with 19mins and stucked at 17-18mins for a long time.. emm.. the best record was last year 16:50.. (sahaja! badbad).. ive always been struggling in running, or for that matter, in most physically challenging performances (workout, sports)..

today, i made it to 15.50.. i know 15.50 is not good enough.. but its my personal best.. i know right, its like my best is not good enough.. but im thankful and kind of happy nonetheless :D i cant compare myself with others, if i have to compete, its with myself.. if i have to compare, its with myself.. coach said i could do better.. and i want to believe him :)

i dont know why people sometimes have this high expectation on me.. its like they see me better than i really am.. i dont know if they say so because they want me to feel better or they truly believe so.. sometimes it flatters me, sometimes it scares me.. but looking from a different lens, i might have been the one who lacks confidence and faith in myself.. but.. i dont know.. i dont know..

recalling when i first started, the area where i improved the most is push up. i couldnt even do girl push-ups but now im pretty good at it (ceh:p).. men punya push up, i can do tapi weak.. im still weak at sit ups, but considering i couldnt do one before, thats a good improvement (yay!:p) i remember not believing i could ever pass the push ups sit ups test, i mean i remember not believing i could ever do it.. and now, i can! yay. pass atu indaku tau ah, havent done the real yg real test.. kalau test yg sapsapsui, pass lah :D thats the area where im theee mossst happeyeeh about. nyeh :)

im still worried and inda satisfied about running.. but like i said, for now.. im happy with my littlest bit of improvement.. alhamdulillah.. alhamdulillah untuk smuaaanya..

i'll drive ke kampong later, after 8pm.. and have a good night sleep. the rest i sooo deserve. heh. so... have a good sunday~~