and....

warning, ini adalah mari becerita.

i just joined my "fitness regular group" punya wassap (eh bewassap tia jua ku sudah. tempted ulih the new phone. haha. padahal aku inda suka ni wassap ah. hehe. psal jua smart phones punya sms format kn mcm chat, yatah mbginya mbazir 5cents tu kdgnya tereply satu line - satu line like "haha" hmmph).. and then maybe coach didnt realise i was in the group atau realise lah, but last 2 nites when he assigned us tmpat2 yg patut diaga the nxt day, he didnt mention my name. bwah skali ia cakap "okay samua?" so i replied "ehh coach u forgot me.. blabla" (ada ala2 bunyi urg mnyamal lah sdikit) and he replied not so warmly... boring... part of me regreted doing that, annoying plg prasahanku aku catu atu but then the nxt morning, he went some length explaining why he didnt mention me on the group.. smiling an almost guilty smile, he said "hey i didnt tell u in the group bcause i already told u yesterday" thats the first one. i told him, its okay, i was just joking (but i really meant to be joking sbnrnya). and then "if i tell u there, im afraid u'd be confuse"i said awuu okay, aku eksen saja. then he continued "i was like oh no, (mentioning my name) is marah" nah the final one made me feel guilty tia. bulih lgi ku bedrama2 mnyamal cmani. bulih lgi ku mendrama-drama kn coach ani. haha. COACH jua ia ani. it should be like a boss(him)-pekerja(me) punya act of conduct. mcm cigu-student. inda? asteee. hehe. i shouldnt have acted like kbasaran yg deserves "explanation" segala..

i dont know if its just a reflex action of any manusia towards manusia lain yg 'mnyamal' or he acted like that bcause of what happened to me when i was 'rejected' by the asgaii. they saw my anger, my disappointment, and they listened to me.. they know well my story.. at one point, bila rasa kna reject cmatu, i felt like theyre the only one yg sudi mutik aku, yg 'memujuk' aku wlwpun sbnrnya nada pun kna pujuk prasahanku.. haha.. soo.. masa atu, one day, becerita th ku ni arah the group members.. dgn prasaanku skali lah ku ceritakan.. (didnt realise i was being so open.. padahal alum juaku knal bnar tu drg ah, nda juaku byk bcakap dgn drg.. but those days, i was so *insert the word - marah? hurt?* that i would tell just anyone about whatever i felt, anyone around me, who atleast spent some time with me, whoever saw me from the beginning of the 'process', whoever heard the story firsthand..) told them that one of the things that made me angry was the fact that i wasnt told properly of the 'rejection', let alone personally.. udah atu, esuk lusanya coach ani nada tia mbgitau awal esuknya dmna training.. so one of them said he'd ask him arah wassap.. said, he'd tell me after that.. aku inda ingau jua, klw ia nada gitau aku pn, i'l sms coach lah saja.. but that night, instead of the grp member, coach ani msg aku tia mbgitau esuk dmna training.. (i think that was the first time ia yg msg dlu sblm ku tnya. or at least ia msg pn pagi2 tpi ani mlm tia) and the next day was the day he asked me "are u disappointed?" -of being 'rejected'?- aku rasaaa kan, mesti drg group members ani yg nyuruh coach misis aku, maybe something like "karang mnyamal ya lgi" and days after that, whatever coach said arah wassap group (instructions of assignments yg ia alum gitau aku), he personally sms me. jarang aku yg btnya dlu. well, i felt a bit special lah sbnnrya klw inda tedapat wassap ani, people look fr you with an extra 4cents! :p i.e people go that extra mile just to get to you. :p

or ani maybe ani just some kind of assumption yg bleh jdi jua mcm mengada2, tpi bleh jdi jua bnar. haha. or maybe theyre just good people. and coach is a good person. maybe lah. pasal jua msatu ada this guy punya father meninggal.. apanah, coach datang kaliah ke kubur, despite his different cultural and religious belief.. i didnt quite expect that.. bisai jua ia ani.. and bisai jua the fact that he is quite attached to urg2 yg ia train :) dbuatkannya kwan.. he once told me "if there is some kind of election, i'd win" ceeeh.. haha..

tapi tapi tapi, it should be noted that he is still quite distant klw nganya training sama ia for one-two months. he only gets close to the people yg ia train after two months kali? i think? that comes from my not-always-right observation plg

ah apa2 pun, whether theyre good and responsible people with a good 'team spirit' (asgaii ani yg sioknya, drg punya team spirit baguss, whenever things happen to you, slalunya they wont leave u alone) or its bcause i am matter and they care (haha), it feels.. good to be treated nicely by some bunch of... 'workmate', although sometimes i feel a bit guilty lah nyusah2kan org.. but at least, i feel welcome.. :)

andangnya ceritaku ani pasal ani jua. andangnya balik2 bh. bcause this is my life now. this is what ive been doing 5 days a week. awuu ia th nganya yg paling "exciting" dlm idupku msani kali. (kesian) haha.

emm and maybe, plus.. most of life, i spent with people i already kenal dari lama2 sudah.. i mean, at least whatever i do, slalunya andang ku bedgn dgn kwan (orang yg andangku kenal) except msa master lah ah.. tpi atu "urg putih" environment.. hehe and still, housemateku was someone i already rapat since 2007.. so i guess, its pretty interesting doing things on my own now.. and.. meeting strangers :) ofcourse having friends yg andang friends around is so much fun but sometimes it turns me into someone yg very tetutup, i wont throw myself out there to the strangers and i will be less approachable bcause i will always turn to my friends, bcause i always have them to go to. but now, im pretty alone. so its interesting to see how i bring myself this time around. its interesting to see strangers from different lens. hehe.