wrong door. hooo

did i just ask that not-so-brilliant ques? of course i wont get the answer. emm.. what was i thinking? ahaha.

anyway anyway im so iski.. dont ask why unless u wanna join in. aah u might know what i mean.. keep it as my-our little secret.. heh

i went to sc just now.. to crepaway skajap, and i got my eyes on this guy. haha. bida bunyinya. but seriously aku suuuukaa liat. u know, like a slightly naughty description, it would be: u got my adrenaline pumped babe. hahaha. (in a good way. in a good way of course) but still, no. not that much. couldnt keep my eyes off him, well sort of. man, me in this situation will be so one in many years, maybe. or one in hundred times. hahaha. but when u see him.. kau tidak akan setuju. he is not the type- that people will want to look at more than twice. biasa aja. i dont know what i saw in him- in his handsome face. just when he looked at me, when he spoke and met his eyes.. man, its those eyes- that are capable of melting me straight away (if i or anyone could ever be melted that fast. haa) those mysterious, deep, shy and yet inviting eyes? -and more description to it- hahahah. what such a loser talking about this. suka hati laa..

ive been thinking.. there must be a time when we are soo happy, so happy that we are scared. for how much longer we will be that happy, until it is taken away? with what do we have to pay for such happiness? yes, there is always a price for everything... as i always told myself. maybe i dont want to feel that scary happiness- that invite those questions. just because we are so afraid of losing it. i want to be happy in a way that it is not scary. ha ha. but i know, i know exactly what i mean by scary happiness, and i know it too.. i cant skip feeling that way. maybe subconsciously. and maybe more someday..

eeh im kind of jobless these two days. with jobless, i dont mean i want job or task or even school.. emm.. entertaining, fun, interesting job is welcome. hihih. mcm? mcm main game, mcm jalan2. love it this way now, always able to throw myself onto my blue popeye whenever i want. well, u know.. i havent really ready to wake up.

&& this book i read msatu.. young, loaded and fab.. isit well known? i dunno lah. mn awu, bari malu plg sikit ni, that im about to shhhiiihi about it. ytah kn, aku nd suka. nda siok eh. maybe the whole idea is interesting plang. jalan crita nda brapa. just an everyday life story of a sixth form students yg kaya. who is interested in that? not me. it should be in a longer time frame. bnr plg buku atu byk smbungannya kali [mcm crita series spisisnya]. the way she writes pn udh nda brapa bari addicted. and the words pn nda siok, a bit pyah in its-not-so-literature-way (boh, sukati aku ani. what do i know bout this thing?) ok.. thats in the eyes of someone who doesnt really know what literature is, precisely. what writing is. tapi.. to my defense, once i read kite runner.. hoo i know how literature-like it is. love it straight away.

bah. off. im going to school tomorrow. I AM GOING TO SCHOOL TOMORROW.

for no reason, i keep looking at the same space.. the same not promising letters.. but they say only opposite poles attracted...?