the forgotten

you think tmrw is raya? i am the only one who keep on saying awu esuk rayaa, against all the odds. eseh. smua org cakap, its gonna be friday.. so.. entah. tpi mcam malas juaku klw esuk rayaa ah.. hehe.. apatah bajuku and tudongku nii? emm..

yesterday went sungkai with coach and the friend. cch is friends with the restaurant's boss. so the boss came and said "u booked fr two adults and one child? who's the child?" coach pointed at me, smiling his teasing smile. the boss didnt seem to believe it. he looked confused. (ofcourse! over jua tu ah mun ia pecaya, pebaik small and younger-sized i may seem to be. haha). it went on for like 2 rounds of scene.. tanya2, talked about the same thing. no, didnt hurt me. towards the end, coach said again "if he asked, u tell him ure 12 okay?" smiling again. he wasnt serious lah. tapii overr eh mun kan mngakun umur 12 atu haha.. mun 16 okaay jua kli, ada jua chance sdikkiit kan kana caya.. kali jua tu ah, mun nasib baik.. hehehe.. but 12? oh tidaak. when my friend paid, the boss asked again "so.. it was really fr 2 adults and 1 child?" kihkih..paid full and honest. what would he do if we insisted i am 12? ask fr my ic maybe.. hehehe.. bari malu eh klw urg seriously mnipu cmatuu.. hehe..

later during the night we went fr training. naik tangga stadium jee. my friend's friends came. the pghince included. though we crossed paths entah sudah berapa kali, ive never really talked to him. i should display some respect, since he is one of the bosses, work under the same roof. but.. i just.. feel.. entah, indaku tantu rasa when im around them - not in the way aku romantically TTR or something - its just, how should i treat people like him? how should i behave? sometimes i am thinking that i could cross the line and sometimes i am thinking that my actions could be misinterpreted fr mengambang.. i think too much, so i cant act like myself. therefore i chose to be quiet most of the time, and i chose to avoid them when i could. bcause its no fun at all, not being able to feel comfortable.

anyway, lastnite my friend ikut keretaku, so basically i was stuck. i had to be with her. after we did stairs, he brought her to the gym, so i had to tag along. he was friendly. he has always been friendly. baik jua tu bah he tried to make conversations instead of pretending i didnt exist. but like i said, i am so cautious when he's around (not only him, but the team).. entah, i think this was the second-third time i sat as near as 15cm next to him, but i couldnt reply to conversations. so one line conversation for a one line conversation. or three lines conversation fr one. it died. mcm aku plg urg "basar" ni, mcm aku plg yg ambung, inda pndai bcakap ani. haha. and if im not perasan, when i went to the gym, some people looked at me, i think trying to see "now, who is this girl that is walking  and sitting with him/them.. she is new. ive never seen her before" kiranya ia ani artis lah.. ceh.. :p well, ive always been curious what does it feel like to be friends with people like them, what do they think about the other side of life? sure, "whats its like to be friends with them" - what friends? bcakap pun ku inda. haha. doesnt matter, just writing down bits of experience aint hurt nobody right? im not trying to write this to state that im interested in their life.. its just, ah maybe im interested afterall, but in observing what kind of person they really are.. how their mind and personality work.. ah di malam dorang cerita wah one of their friends vomitted the other nite time training.. aah yes! bukan bh aku saja yg cmatu atu.. kihkih.. urg yg handal brbis pun pndai jua muntah time2 puasa ani.. heheh..

at 11am today my mini boss called, asking to come to the office at 12pm. atu bnar, baik jua ku bukan di kg bh. thought its about the paper and the new officers.. tpi inda lah, the biggest boss went visiting.. so boss wanted me to be there.. still, after talking to him, again and again.. i dont know what to feel .. :( whatever it is, i know its gonna be the best for me.

the biggest boss recognized me - among almost crowds - despite me being there unexpectedly.. he almost missed me, and sikit lagi ku tesinggung.. haha.. (somehow i wanted him to tagur aku. and yes, he did.. klw inda ya kenal aku mcm malu sajaku dtg tpi inda ia knal:p).. and another big boss almost missed me too.. but they both looked at me the second time and went like "eh. kau.. " both of them are the people who were responsible in interviewing me 6 years ago. im their product. and thats why it'll hurt me if they didnt notice me. hehehe. now they both become some vipss.. and i am honoured that i was interviewed and 'hand-picked' by them:p at least, that means something right? they saw something good in me right? haha. masa utk mengambang (-_-)

so.. esuk ari raaya? :p