what a day!

wooo what a day...

this week, my routine, i sleep every 2-430pm. haha. morning after 9am, i do babysitting, helping the aunty to put the kid(s) to sleep.. and watch tv, watch them.. then ptg, goal th ku.. hehe

today when i woke up from my afternoon NAP, i went straight to the kitchen.. a few minutes after, ada tah aunty ani memanggil aku dgn intonasi yg panik "kak, kak.. kenapa ini yayai?".. lalu saya pun menutup tambak (baik jua sampat masih bpkir dgn waras. hehe) and went to tempat liat tv, in those short seconds, i was wondering about aunty's panick-ish intonation.. it couldnt be that bad? maybe dorang kanak2 ani beibun2 and yayai menyamal hebat? but no, when i saw him... he was lying down (arah tilam), trembling heavily.. bediri saja ku, trying to digest "whats going on?" his brother suddenly said "ia slalu tu cematu, ia slalu eksen2 buat catu. andangnya tu" i was still standing, trying to digest what i saw.. trying to digest what he said, trying to digest what all of them were saying.. 'what should i do, is this on me?' -note, all this were happening within seconds, im describing my detailed thoughts:p- i looked at yayai closely, mengumpul segala kewarasan yg ada and it was clear to me he was trembling abnormally, and ada keluar air liur dari mulutnya, thats when panik ku betambah2.. i called his name, tampar2 lambut his pipi.. until finally he opened his eyes.. then i pulled him and pangku the little kid.. rasa ia punya dahi, it wasnt that panas, he only responded with "aaaaa" still panicking, i decided to call his parents before i take any action - should i run to hospital? or what?

thats such an experience. trying hard to be wisely responsible, trying hard to act like a grown up, trying hard NOT TO PANICK. thats not... easy.. hehe.. but.. a good experience..

then the parents pun smpai rumah, bawa ke hospital.. what made it more scary was that the little kid wouldnt or couldnt talk.. he responded when we bawa ia cakap but he didnt reply. turned out he had this very high temperature (39.6).. he was overheat (thats probably why ia punya bdan di luar inda brapa kerasahan panas, dlmnya pns brabis), ia punya leher bangkak, lidahnya kind of karau.. i was  scared everytime he closed his eyes masa lapasnya kajar2 atu, so i kept calling his name... until i was sure he was okay, then i let him fell in and out of sleep.. and lucky enough, it wasnt too late.. if not, he could reach higher temperature or worse things could happen.. and im NOT berakal enough to take more wise actions :( *eg. bagi tuala arah dahinya kah, identify clearly what he was suffering from kah, inda panik and able to think very clearly kah.. but at least, i did something.. right? huhu.. all good now, he was talking, playing kreta, smiling sudah... alhamdulillah.. so.. thats an experience.. hehe

last year something quite similar happened jua.. i heard yayai cry heavily.. i was assuming ia kelayi sama abgnya (aku tu cuai jua, inda meliat dorang bemain.. hehehe), skali udah ku liat, aaah.. darah mengalir2 dari kepalanya.. atu panik ku brabis, kalah th yg arini prasanku.. i rushed arah aunty and said "aunty, aunty.. darah" - we didnt do much, didnt even call the parents.. aku lap saja darah atu.. haha.. then the parents balik, bawa hospital.. and one thing i learned, i should have called them.. or do something better... nganya time atu aku balum drive lah kn melusiri hospital.. kn menelipun ambulan, over th jua.. hehe..

thats some stories about kids-experience.. klw psal panik yg bukan versi kids, nanti th menyambung ah.. :p

after an hour dorang ke hospital tadi, an unknown number called me.. worried, aku angkat lah.. (i always angkat unknown number, tpi lately avoiding) rupanya, a call telling me that tomorrow i'll have an interview with the biggest boss.. im honoured that he give me a slot, that he wants to meet me despite his always very busy schedule.. but.. nervousku brabis.. i have so many things in my mind that i dont even know what to say to him tomorrow :( i am very confused.. sigh.. i think i'll just tell him honestly.. all the conflicts that i have within me, all the frustations and anger too.. and i hope, i pray i'll have the strength to say all those, have the strength to be all honest and transparent and... articulate them very well.. ya Allah.. amin.. mudahan lurus jalan yg ku pilih, mudahan lurus cakap2 ku ani..

this early morning, i did the training with them. yay they were there! it was a lot better than the past few days. and i did well today :D esok the training sbnrnya siuk... running underwater. barat dan cali plg tu.. but its gonna be fun.. dapat tarus blajar swimming eh.. that woman pun coming.. tapinyaaa nah, clash tia with my interview... sia2pun, next time th sajaaa.. haih, next week pun dorang yg lain busy... tinggal lagi aku sorang diri.. ayoyo :s

so tmrrow i'll go to morning prgramme skajap, tpi pkai baju kurung:p aha! liat2 dorang sja baah..

i pray tomorrow is going well, i say and act wisely.. and i hope, it'll put my misery to ease.. and... whatever is going to happen, it'll be the best fr me, and i hope i'll be able to see that dgn hati dan mata yg terang... amin..