wazzup

i dont know what people are thinking, are saying about me..

did a solo track today, 4 laps only. warming up (warming up mu plg tu, ngalihku jua eh. hehe) did it in 10m39s which was still far from lulus. inda mau laju gayanya. i didnt do the workout like hell anymore. nada lgi afternoon homeworks pun jua.. and im getting bored of doing the same things. boh. i need to be motivated. or leave this kali2..

did the rest of the exercises indoor. then after i was done.. i said something out loud.. and a friend said "no, dont. it'll hurt you/make you angry" yakni "jgn tah.. sasak saja ko krg.." (mau2 jua ah cakap inglis atu, main translation tia lgi.. haha..)

struck with what he said, i mumbled "sasak kah ku tu ah.." and thought to myself, what was that friend thinking that he seemed to know what i might feel (bcause i think he could be right. it'll hurt me, even though im puzzled to how come it could hurt me)

so i sat down fr some minutes before finally asking him "why do u think it'll hurt me? i mean.. i want to know it from the view of an outsider? (selain tuan punya badan)"

he said things.. that might be what it is actually that im feeling but denying or puzzling so much about it..

i think i know why it hurt(s) but.. i dont know.. i dont know how exactly to put it in words or to identify each strain of feelings.. or each strain of reasons to how i feel the way i feel..

and even if there is no reason, what we feel is what we feel..