teacherku, niecesku, kritamu

this is my old post. not from this site. from the abandoned site. this was in 2008. bukan plg psal aku nada idea time ani:p haha. nadalah.. just.. looking back..


---- May 2008:


im tired. thats probably the reason im here. and out of nowhere, i remember my bio teacher yg msa form 6 once said to me "for all these years ive been teaching, ure the first student who failed my subject"- and for that very moment, i was supposed to cry..?, maybe. haha. no i mean disappointed at least. but, i smiled. and kind of clapped my hands sikit2 and said " wah teacher, i should be proud then. i break the record, ur record" .. yeah, she was a good teacher, and for someone to fail a subject yg gurunya bagus, thats rare. haha. she is now in MD kali. im not sure. last info i got, yth tu. i wish i could see things like that. i mean, to see things in positive ways. kna ucap pun, mcm just take it as if atu compliments. as cabaran to be exact kali. so that, there is nothing to worry about.

i miss my past. or maybe everything that i left. i remember my nieces yg belabih atu. that one time they asked me to draw something for them. biasa jua tu kanak2. of course, i refused. skali kna pajal2 pksa jua ku mlukis. i hate drawing man.. my drawing sucks. haha. finally, tadaAA.. i drew a princess. apanah? my nieces kept complaining that my drawing atu bida. baju princessnya bida lah, badannya nda lawa, matanya bsar, idungnya pipih... and they didnt end it that day. the next day, the next week, still mengucap aku psal drawing keramat ku atu. lai.. could u just stop please. tauku lukisanku bida. haha. baik jua ku nda pmarah smacam bh. they even told their mother psal lukisanku atu. sabar sja... ;p but surprisingly, when i came to their house, i saw lukisanku atu betampal arah dinding bilik dorang. i didnt know what was that supposed to mean. whatever, but for me, that was so sweet. at least, i felt appreciated.

here.. u know what i hate most? im not sure, but i think menyabarang jalan raya. bukannya damit jalan yg kn dlintasi ani. its like jalan 4 lanes. then stop. lintas lagi jalan 4 lanes atu. mun driver sini ani comel molek hatinya manasja.. they are really dangerous drivers. huhu. i really hate it. no matter how frequent aku menyebarang, il still hate it. cubatah buat jejantas???? wahh snangku bcakap.


------- end


so.. just.. looking back.. i was 19 when i wrote this one.. (edited: i was 20 lah.. nda pndai mengira.. boo:p)


did i sound like a kid? or did i sound wiser? haha. or i am just the same person?


kadangnya mbagi malu meliat post lama2 ani. hehehe. but many things could happen: its a good way to trace back who u really are or the kind of life u used to have, things u used to like and hate, the way u used to feel.. the way u used to think.. or ure still that person.. nothing much has changed.. only maybe now ure more grown up, busier? happier? sadder? the 'improvised' version of YOU? or the 'degraded' version of YOU? haha. and sometimes amazingly (wlwpun mbagi malu mliat post lama2), u still can learn a lot.. maybe not to repeat the same mistakes.. or u'd be surprised at how inspiring/optimistic the younger-you could be! haha. (and ofcourse, malu at how stupid u sound (and sounded) like:p)


remember when u were 14 and u feel like uve grown up enough and its okay to go out with friends without ur parents' permissions? and when ure 16 u feel like u have found ur true love? and when ure 19 u feel like ure ready to get married and have ur own life? (aku inda plg.. haha:p) but im saying, remember those ages when we feel like we have grown up enough? that we are wise enough? that we have ears that wont listen?


but then comes an older age when finally u realised that u've never really grown enough, realised that.. 'growing up' is not a static thing, that it will always continue.. and the next year u will learn something new and realise that the previous year you have been acting like a kid, done something stupid - and acknowledged that u have been smart too - i guess, once we feel that way, we have reached an okay age to finally say "technically im a grown up but i am not really a grown up, i will still make mistakes and i will still continue to.. learn and grow"


so what was ur okay age? or... it does not happen yet? ;p


baah all u hear is blablabla :p makasih~