easy come easy go

aah i just realised my grammatical, spelling, word error arah assignment ku!! bukan ku baca ia lagi smula, aku teingat sajaaa. mcm exam wh, bila tani sadar salah jawab.. yatah rasaku ni awal ani. haha. my mistake was mistake yg bari malu.. careless.. tau lah ku aku ani bukan mother tongue english.... tapi maluku the carelessness atu.. mcm contohnya salah buat "accept" when we meant to write "except".. thats a dumb mistake for a serious, formal documents!! manasja th ya mun salah arh mana2, mun formal...... its going to give a bad bad impression.. (but i dont wanna tell whats my exact mistake. maluku... sasakku... :p hahah)

all i felt today, and the last few days or weeks.. its like, aku antam sja this assignment. effort longlai bannnarr.. antam sja, asal siap =( and thats not good. if i am judging based on the effort and time i invested on this assgn... i'd probably get a thin credit :( although a thin distinction is still a possibility, yakni... saya sungguh berharap.....

did i just let the easy distinction slip away? i kicked away the chance for an easy distinction.. i had time, a lot of time. and the assgn is pretty okay.. should get a distinction easily (not easily, but easier than some other subjects).. but i was just... losing it. losing that feeling to strive! is that because i am feeling 'safe' now? i had a few good marks and thats it?? sad. sungguh sad story. kasian bini2 ani. cigu yg subject ani jua baik bh usulnya.... and i am not feeling the pressure.... and class batah udh nada... and ketularan malas.... and... maybe i perform better in pressure! not immediate pressure one. but the kind of where i feel.. scared and lacking.. and the feeling like time is running out.

right now.. and dari tadi sudah.. dari hari atu jua.. i just feel... kosong from adrenaline. the rush to get it done beautifully. or the regret that i did not perform at my best. now i feel like 'baik th udah tu siap'. 'malasku check bnr2. asal siap' :s my bad.....

but i still hope to get good marks!! amin amin.