price-better

i.. emm think im the kind of person who takes things easy. macam.. klw bida, bidalah.. biar tia, asal ada. klw randah markahku biar tia ah, asal siap. no worries, go with whatever the outcome is. i might as well call that, i believed..

i believed i could those things, in a realistic way ofcourse, antah macamana bulih.. i felt.. comfortable and calm... and relax...

but as i.. what, grow up? antah eh, lets see fr now.. i took things too hard, worry too much.. what for? i think i know what for.. but in the process, i might lose my-cool-self. klw ku cmani pun bnrnya doesnt guarantee a great outcome jua. just becoming sdikit rajin. but with that comes a lot of pressure and maybe worries and seriousness.

in trying to be a better someone, am i losing myself in the process? is that the price? (becoming better as in acquire some skills, knowledge, experience, behaviour etc all the possible things) cant i be better without... without changing the things that im comfortable with in myself?

hahaha.

but question is, am i becoming better?? or so i thought i am trying to be one. maybe im BETTER off without those things that i thought make me a better someone. yeah.

=p