my.. Short diary

this time around, leaving will be hard..

When i came to love a lot more things..

When i became attached to those more things.. Became attached to a lot of people..

Batahku di brunei ani, pyah plg ni krg. Haha. Plus,im gonna be on my own,doing a completely diff thing.pray fr my survival :p

all the time im being in brunei, gotss my diary:p -

the first-second month: enjoyed learning cartoons, appreciated my relaxing slow pace life, became closer the kids, the family, wanted to be a good wife&mother more than anything else..

Second-third month: routine shocked. Reality adjustment shock. Cried leaving the cartoons kind of life. Cried, realising things... Exhausted. Down. Confused. Unhappy. Regrets..

Third-fourth month: Fell into the rythym, got used to the pattern of my life.. Sometimes down, still exhausted, still complaining.. Sometimes happy, sometimes gave up..

Fourth month: how did i fall in love with things i hated? The thought of leaving saddens me.. Or maybe its because i know i'll be leaving that makes me sad?

..when i get back, things wont be the same. Those people i became attached to, we wont be the same again.. Things will be different.. And.. Sadly, i'll forget how these days feel like.. Forget what i feel now, what i felt those days..

Plus sayang kaliah fitness yang ku pelihara2 ani. Haha. No, im not fit FIT. But i believe, i have improved a lot.. Or at least a bit.. No one's gonna push me after this, i'll have to use my own mind and will power. Tpi, i cannot stop now.. Or else, i'll start back from zero again.. Ndaku sanggupssss eh

anyways...

Just know, that i'll be missing a lot of things..

Pray.. Pray fr my success..

Pray.. Pray that my fight will be blessed..

Smoga mendapat rahmat dan keberkatan Allah.. Amin amin

i should be saving these words until the last days bfore im leaving.. But then, i better write them down while im feeling this way.. Karang ilang tu blues&sodih2 ku atu mun ditahan.. Haha