these early good-byes

blues~

or maybe just a plain boredom.. haha

a change makes a chain of other changes u know..

when it becomes like this.. things become like this.. oh actually when egypt became like this months months ago.. things changed..

ive always wanted to go on an egypt trip.. "i'll do a trip across all egypt when i am in my 4th year.. while i got nothing to do.. on my summer break.. " -go to one place after another until i make my footprints in every places, back only when i get to visit all.. understand what bumi anbiyaa really means.. but i guess, i was too late to realise that things could change in a blink of an eye..

and now.. people, people that i supposed to spend my time with on the summer break.. spend our time together while we still have the time.. get the best last bits of egypt in our head.. and heart.. and do it naturally, without having to have the mindset "theyre going back in a few days" ..not all will be here for long.. and.. things feel like falling all over the place now..

and i have to realise.. things wouldnt be the same now even for those who stay.. because now, we spend our time together just so to make up for the soon-not-being-able to spend the time together.. ever anymore.. and most of all, because its not all of us here anymore.. things.. arent the way ive always imagined.. not in the way ive always pictured..

as much as i have to let go this phase of life.. need to get out of it.. it is not easy.. not easy to just wrap up my life, start a new phase and forget what was there in the past 4 years...

for i know, things will be different.. things will be harder.. and i am gonna miss this phase of life.. i am gonna miss everyone in it..