but yuhuhu

funny, how close i feel to this blog sometimes :P it could be my punchbag, i feel like i could talk just about everything, i could channel my unwanted energy here, i could throw silly thoughts, i could say things that others dont understand.. just.. funny. (not that everything, not too personal matters i mean).

not only because i know at least one person will read it.. but.. because.. there might be someone else who feels the same at the time.. who thinks just about the same thing.. strangers who might understand better.. who might care about what i say, what i try to deliver.. who and who, might and might bla bla bla.. i mean, its just.. JUST! ha ha ha (anubh, kdg2 nada jua urg baca, esp in cases i restricted my blog to myself.. but yuhuhu)

sometimes, i base my actions on my past.. and, good enough, it motivates me somehow sometimes. like, "ive been thru that worst thing before, then why fear? what stops me from doing this. i can" and bad enough, i always base my actions not on what was the best (way/things ive done) but on what i could survive with.. at.. i.e: my actions are based on survival NOT on the best possible result and outcome i could get. like, "aritu aku behata duit ke bandar spuluh ringgit nganya sminggu. this time, i can do the same" like, "the last time i did task like this, i did it only one night.. and now, what makes me need more?satu jam pun boleh" most of the time lah.. barangkali.. i guess its just who i am. (err am i sure? hahaha) ; ehhh jn jua, sometimes i do strive for the best.. :P :P :P and that usually happens for reasons.. emm? or maybe, i need to change :)

aah not to forget, i do base my actions on other people jua.. on what they do, what they think, their way.. etc2.. this, lies on the fine line between "i'd be at my best, i'd be at my worst" or maybe, i need to change :)

choices have always amazed me. the way humans are given with the ability and opportunity to choose. the way choices are made.. the why-s, the who they are that determines their choice.. and how.. such choices shape themselves.. make difference to their life.

if i always take things seriously, i might die early... it doesnt suit me right, or so i think :)