the butterfly that cant fly..

nothing seems driving me.. to work hard.. now.. and even nothing inspires me. doesnt mean my life is a total darkness in this past few days, weeks. its just.. im half in fantasies. im loving it much. haha.

the earth is moving faster nowadays. its not a very fair way of getting older i guess. hah. nda bh. astaga. i cant even remember being twenty years old. the last time i remember was answering "im nineteen". jengjeng. ive stopped counting the months since i dont know when. i dont go saying "its january, and i dont know how long it takes to complete a year. 12 months seem forever". two years feels like one now.

im just.. loving egypt more and more. i love the freedom that i always feel when im here. the freedom i mean is.. in my own definition. buknnya skadar kebebasan bjalan. haha. maybe i went to the right places this year, sing the right song, live the good joy, learn great lessons.. except, ive been so less caring about studies. my bad. i hope to catch up soon.

last week i went to sharm el sheikh and sinai. aku mau ksna lagi.. msti msti!!! haha. love it brabis. if i told u i love rehlah in hurghada, i dont know how many times greater was in sharm =) over kali description ku ani. tpi bnar. aku suuukaa. antah, one day i go to other great places, my sentence will go the same "if i told u i love my holiday in sharm, **** is a million times greater" ndakn? haha. isit the same goes as finding what u call as soulmate "i thought i love you but when i meet her, i just know what love actually is" and u find a new other girl- modified sentence here and there. and kill them, kill them with words. kill them with-what-so-called-as-love. one, die die sweet talkers. two, maybe all the feelings are love. u just find it different with different people. stronger with someone than the other. so who to blame? but cant u wait forever.. until nothing can move u but this love? this one love? dan aku melarat jauh dari sharm sheikh. haha

i cant forget sharm sheikh for different reasons. mostly the fun experience i had. and i cant totally forget my drowning experience. ahah. it was in aqua park, well.... warning... this is bari malu. cos kolam sna atu damit2.. the most suitable line would be "aku lamas arh kolam ikan" in comparison lah. haha. damit kali ah kolam atu. mcm fish pond. except for the fact i cant swim. and i was short of a few centimeters- to reach the water level of the kolam. [1.6m wah sja depth kolam atu. 1.6 ONLY!] BUT a few CM-s means a lot for non swimmers. especially when panic took the best of you. tapinya... i didnt know why i took the gamble. i mean, ntah knapa ku mau main tsunami atu. haha. luan iski. i knew the water level. but i wanted to go main atu jua. i believed somehow, i could find a way ksiring kolam laju2.. i believed i could saved myself. i believed anyway.. in myself. in people. if the worst happen, they wont just leave me. they wont let me die. hahaha. my faith outshines the worst possibilities. heh. prasan samseng. tsunami was bari takut plang. it was steep. i screamed my lungs out. i dont think my body relaxes sejak2 ku mlungsur atu. even udh kluar dari trowong atu.. my body was so rigid. so i think that adds my panic. udh mlabuk kebwah.. i dont know how i was. tpi rsa2nya i acted like a drowning victim. tnggalam-timbul-lambai2. haha. until i saw pajil trajun and was reaching for my hands. and and the guard jua trajun. and lifted me just like that. just like a hero. hahaha. thank u mr guard. and my special thanks to pajil. hehe. but then, i laughed so hard. cali wh, kna slamatkn arh tmpat tuhur. by my friend. by a stranger. then kna liat ulih urg2. haha. tapi, to me, personally- its such a beautiful thing. beautiful experience. really. so in conclusion,tsunami was bari takut, steep, dark and FUN. hihi. fortunately aku nda kna banned main lain lgi lpas atu.

then, i love watching the sunrise. atas bukit. arh desert. lpas quad bike.( again). it was fun. sunrise was so so beautiful. honestly, first time ku liat sunrise. i mean, really liat. dri matahari atu nada, to seeing only light and watching the sun rising and rising. smpai ia jadi bulat.

snorkeling. fuh. such an experience. bari mati. for non swimmers. ahah. and tiring. out of 3 stops, aku turun dua sja. and it was cold. no matter how bad i was, i want to do it again, someday.. tpi mn time winter bpkir plangku dua kali tu ah.

aaah ive watched shopaholic. woho. emm.. ntah ah. siuk kali lh. cali. but. always a but.. barangkali baik plang balum prnah baca buku yg kna movie-kn.. psalnya less suspense. less curiosity. that kills most of the fun. bisai plang critanya atu nda sma mcm buku.. byk nda sma.. tpi still, basic of the story is still sma of course.. so, aku prefer if nda pnah baca buku yg kna moviekn...

april is the serious month i hope. cos may is the scary month..

err.. i think my blog is very dull... tapi.. that fact doesnt make me take any action-yet- cos i still dont like doing the skin.. or layout.. or.. modifying my way of writing.. so.. so what? =D

panjang?