loploplop

i.. observe. i see things around me. i see the angles. i see them all. i love that part of me.

except.. except that im less like that now. haha. mostly because ive been busy. and.. ive been directing most of my feelings towards that one person. (perghh cawee aku karang ani. tau kau? haha)

maybe its time for me to reevaluate. not that i feel less for him. no. its just sometimes, i feel its not very healthy to have this much energy directed towards one person, and it dims all other doors. i might have been more workaholic, i might have been more attentive towards other things.. if i.. if i dont feel this way.

But.. i.. i dont have regrets for that. not even a little. its just.. maybe i should wake up and be more balanced? haha.

feeling this much for someone, sometimes it hurts. unnecessarily hurts me. sometimes it feels stupid to be hurt over silly things. and sometimes i think.. "isnt it easier those days when he was just a friend. a very good friend? i wont be hurt over these silly things" haha. i know i know. immature thinking right? when u love someone, something, u fight all the way.

remember when people asked me, what am i looking for in a person? i couldnt really give a solid answer. but i know this one for sure "someone who i know will fight for me no matter what and that i would do the same for him"

he might not be the one i imagined i would fall for and im not the girl he imagined he would fall for. but.. we fell for each other and i know for sure that the moment i decided to be with him, i have faith that he will fight fr me no matter what and i would do the same.

i dont know whats next. things might go ugly too. but im gonna remember how i feel for him today and this far. :)

its just that emm.. he is being so sweet tonite. and girls are easily touched esp when i let my walls down like this. and im very grateful..