dream..

just some unprofessional tips boys.. if u kn mngurat bini2, dont just say "hi" or "hi behapa tu" everytime, like everytimeee u 'talk'. its annoying. its not charming. at least show that u can make a conversation... klw aku kn mengurat urg ah, i would make an effort, a more than hi-effort.. as much as i hate sweet talker yg penipu, i think klw miatu ceritanyaa, id rather speak to sweet talkers... (this applies to people u barely know lah.. kdgnya tani kenal some people in person yg fun to be with tpi not interesting in text.. atau tani andang rapat, atu hi pun hi lah, hi pun mangkali bulih over the moon kali rasanya..)

ceh mcm urg kna urat sjaa aku ah. indaa lah... lets just say, some observations? :)

bleh sudah di tapus muaku ani. havent done any work fr two days now. tadi tidur baah ku saja. and main facebook. haiya. bah mbuat ku ni. lapasku mandi and solat? insyaAllah.. hehe

i.. emm dreamed about my sister today.. i know its just a dream.. im not even sure apa significantnya mimpi ani and bisai diceritakan or apa.. but yeah, i wanna share this simple thing..

when i was home the other day, saying my last goodbye to her.. i was wondering if i would dream about her.. and my sibs also asked me if i dreamed about her or anything.. but i didnt.. and i was just wondering if i'd ever dreamed about her.. because, sometimes i dreamed about my mother and its safe to say that its almost like the same kind of dream everytime, indalah always, but almost.. so yeah, i was just thinking, would it be the same fr my sister? then for the whole period of 40 days and more, i didnt dream about her.. at least not one that i remember.. but i think lately ive been dreaming about her tpi indaku ingat, its just when i woke up, i thought aku mimpi tapi inda ingat lah.. skali arini, its just the setting of the dream makes it so unreal.. mcm mimpi yg beibun, mimpi yg main2.. but isi cerita is.. logical? id say? its just... she said, goodbye... in that dream, only me and my other sister yg boleh nampak ia, my bro inda nampak lah.. she was leaving, disappearing.. we were saying our goodbyes.. and we talked casually jua.. like i said "if anything, just come and tell me.. but dont scare me" and ada lah cakap2 casual yg lain.. but pointnya.. she was leaving, and saying goodbye... and i let her go..

well maybe its just a dream.. or maybe, as sad as it is to admit, maybe i dreamed that dream because its an indication that now im really letting her go.. its only now that ive let her go.. like truly letting her go.. you think? i think ive let her go the day she went.. but i dont know.. and if really ive let her go, i dont want it to mean that ive let her go like "forgotten".. no no.. even if ive let her go, i dont wanna forget her.. i dont wanna live like she-they never existed in my life.. its just.. it hurts you know, when you slowly slowly are forgetting them.. you dont want that to happen, but it happens.. after some years, some memories just fade away slowly and they become blurry, you begin to wonder some things about them.. and youre afraid if that means you love them less.. :'(

but no.. theyre so dear to me, so near to me that theyre always in my prayers.

i love you. i love you both.



--  hi apple os mozilla browser, i/the site misses you! :p u come less these days? :D *ps. because fr many months, i noticed you were the only one who read me when no else wanted or had the time to read me. somehow ive felt like youve been a good listener.. in a way, it felt like youre a friend who almost never failed to be there, mostly or especially in my postgraduate journey.. funny eh? so, just wanna say, thank you.. hehehe.. appreciate it :)

err doesnt mean im not thankful fr others who come and go.. its just apple os mozilla browser makes a more unique ID, so she's a little more traceable (in a good way! :p) .. within this site's little, small 'community', im thankful for all the (genuine) eyes and ears who come because they want to listen, who come because of... whatever good intentions u have.. (meaning im not thankful fr the bad intentions! haha)..

nada plg papa.. its just.. one day, if you all stop coming, or if i stop writing here.. just know that i did appreciate your presence :)


"sometimes we wouldnt know when a simple thing could mean a lot to someone else..."


hmm?