garam atikuu..

slept at 7am today.. and at 9am, tebangun psal ada sms.. and i really hate it klw tidurku tekacau ulih phone-s.. klw i past 5 hours of sleep udah okay ku.. or important things lah ah.. and esp if youre important to me (atu lautan api ku redah:p).. or misalnya its MY responsibility-related-calls, example: partner group uni projects. atu aku okaay, pksaa jua kan. tpksa and im willing to.

maybe its my fault juaa, tau sudah inda suka kana kacau, masih jua vibrate kn tlipun atu, silence kan pulang kali2.. hehe.. but anyway, my point being.. my mood usually turns bitter klw aku inda cukup tidur and then terkacaau.. not necessarily phone or urg on the other side punya salah, its just me yg "bitter".. (sounds like "bida") haha.

so anyway, pointku juaa.. if u minta tolong arah urg, cuba th ah.. ask politely.. if not polite pun, dont make the other person yg u seek help from atu terasa kana arah2 kan th plg.. ure asking a favour u know, segagas atau sepenting mana pun rasanya favour atu, still.. u should have a lot of sense of respect..

maybe we have different culture.. but we just knew each other, how do u expect me to go "miles" fr you? unless im angelic, but im not :( klw tah atiku ani suci bh, (eeh suci ani bah),  mean if imanku ani kuat bah, i would jump from my bed.. for any people yg seek help from me :( bah take note that spaya bleh jadi a better person.. bnar eh.. hehe..

ia ani essay partnerku yg dlu atu plg (that essay is done sudah, now im talking about another subject yg langsung nada kes partner2 ni.. hehe).. oh bkn simulation partner atu ah, atu subject lain lagi..

ksianku kn ia ni bnrnya, ia ambil 5subs this sem.. and 5subs is sooo tough. 4 lgi ku kpayahan... but yg ku garam ati ani ah, tau sudah ia sibuk and i did try my best to be understanding, tolerate and help her where i could.. taapii garam atiku waaah, its just the fact that i didnt sense she even tried to help herself!! tau sudah lecturerku ani payah kn score, cerewet apa.. and tarang2 udh she warned us dari minggu lapas lapas that "youre on your own" if u dont come to me and have my approval fr ur essay topic by this week.. inda jua ia aga lecturer ku atu.. sigh, if u know its a "requirement" and u need that esp when its not easy to get a decent score, cubatah usahakan th skajap mengaga lecturer atu.. ani mun aku ditanyanya, nadaku dapat mnolong.. :s aku lagi tekakai2.. atu pn i had my difficulty mncari topik..  aku brabis NADA topik, all i did was mentioning to my lecturer area apa yg ku interested and then she gave me bulat2 the topic and even the structure, so dear.. u cant expect me to be able to lend much help :s

ayatnya ani lgi ah "could u check fb and help me solve my problem?could u ans me at ur earliest" inda plg inda polite ayatnyaa ani.. normal plg sja, aku bah yg tidur ani, rasa kn marah inda pedah2. mcm th kmi biasa bnr. unless its kami dua punya kraja. nah that sounds selfish. bah bleh jua kali ia cakap "sorry if im disturbing you.. but im stuck with my work and im blabla. if its not too much fr you, could u help me with blablabla. u can ans me anytime ure free but i would appreciate if its sooner" nah nyaman jua sikit kali bunyinya. mun andang kwan2ku inda lah ku kisah, ayat kasar pun mangkali mcm kasih syg rasanyaa. haha. but yeah, my point being.. how u say it matters, how u voice out ur opinion, how u ask help.. what u say and how u say it matters.. plus.. if u want help from someone, uve gotta help urself too..

maybe she has her own story and reasons why ia cani2 cmatu2 kah.. ada difficulties kah arah daily lifenya or emotionsnya.. tpi dari aritu bh udah ditanyanya topik ku apa, mun udah dari aritu ia realise ia blm ada topik ah.. kamon, go and fight..

im even struggling to keep standing fr this battle. to keep fighting. i cant count how much tears i have shed. i cant remember how many times i refuse to keep walking but i walked. its been the hardest one month many days stir of emotions for me. not saying im strong enough, not saying my life is more difficult than anyone else. we have our own share of difficulties.. what mite be difficult fr me, might be easy fr you and vice versa.. but just saying, tani sama2 ada kesusahan sndiri, sama2 th dlu berusaha to give our best.. or at least TRY..

sigh aku ksian kn ia.. and i feel bad fr replying 5hrs later.. tapinyaaa aku brabis garam ati!! ihhhhh. garam atikuuu eh. nah ani mengumpat th ku lagi!! aghh

venting it out here. aah sorry.