cehehe

in some courses of life, there is this favourite-all-time question:

"what would you be in 5 years?" - i often answer it with certain doubts yet big big dreams and ambitious enough, so impossibly ambitious that was..... so to say, impossible to achieve in the time frame given. bannar. laughable even. depends lah. hehe

while growing older and maybe (MAYBE:P) wiser now, i come to my senses. i could have the biggest dreams ever, i could answer it with some kind of enthusiasm, confidence, charm that impresses whoever is asking.... but i should make it achievable.. time-wise, effort-wise, etc. what good dreams can be if we are only saying them without really meaning what we said, without actually looking for plans to make them work, make them reality?

dreams that only dreams, and dreams that we actually really really want to realise? i say, i have both. and i feel the differences.

in 5 years uh?

now, these days.. when i close my eyes, when i sit doing nothing... i would ask myself "what happened in these 2 years, 3 years?" maybe i was just standing in the wrong lane of life.. fighting over the wrong things, repeating over the same mistakes, doing the same habits, doubting decisions over and over again, no lesser than ignorance, too lost in things thats not even worth it... 30 days of learning over 335 wasted days..

other times, i would think its been a wonderful years.. years that i wished i could live like forever, years that i learned so much... years that were wonderful enough to spare for old time sake-memories.. while i sit in the rocking chair. wuhu. (or while aku besigup sigup kirai. haha. oldies around me used to do that when i was much younger. ada lagi kh tu ah sigup kirai di jaman jamanku nanti? kalau ada...... hopefully i wont be involved in the hobby :p)

tempted to add the word, nyanta or nyamu somewhere... ----> aku ani malas banar msani. bilikku ani.. sikit lagi nada tempat bejajak. im not inspired at all. i feel bored almost all the time. i have the thoughts of cleaning the room, doing the laundry, doing the revision, frightened by the speed of time..but i would sit instead.. reading books (non-academic of course).. then i'd be worried by the uni application fr master and things related.. but still, i would browse the internet and watch the movies instead. cmana ni, inspiration.. inspiration.. inspiration...

air jatuh yg bekilau2? atau rama rama yg berwarna warni? sikit lagi poetic dan antik bahasaku ah. cehehehe

**excuse nahu saraf patah patah perkataan hamba, and all sorts of error. banyak worse nowadays. you cool aye? me cool~ ;p