holl holi holiday

its been.. how many weeks? i am in brunei. 5? means, its been a month im being attached to the ministry. its been good so far. almost too good. [haha ykh?]. yea, cant avoid the pressure sometimes. but its a lot lighter this year compared to last year (bagiku lah). the most fun and beneficial week was the second one. then we were up for the community project. who says it would be easy? never. organising something is quite difficult, esp that it involves so many other parties outside. we had to scrap off most of the ideas from time to time, seeing the low possibility of its feasibility. and when we did scrap off those.. we had to go back to square one! sq 1!! imagine.. it was not easy trying to come up with new ideas.. but finally we chose to stick to this idea.. and somehow got the initial approval.. and we worked our aaaa** on it (aku sdang lh.. not that brabis. boss of the project lh paling stress kali and those who played some more difficult roles kali) worked and worked.. meet this and that, write this.. that.. call here.. there.. while breathing in the air with jokes, fun, and stress. maybe we bonded more within the group. i was happy thinking "tnggal 2 weeks nganya lgi attachment!!" and it is not as stressful as last year and i am happier now..

and one morning.. we were called for a very early morning briefing, said most- if not all of us- had to be assigned for something else.. something that has a higher priority.. and therefore.. our project had to be postponed in bracket called off since we will not have enough time for it.. ........ some part of me is happy for that.. and yea, a lil bit upset cos we already made some progress.. contacts and stuff....

honestly, for now, i wished i hadnt been assigned *here* to this new task.. not that i have anything against it.. i feel honoured.. except.. i dont really like what i did, what i saw, what i felt on these early days i was there. i am busier now (booo!!). i only have one day off. and.. my working timeline has been extended to one more week. plus working hours are longer. and i suppose its hectic. now im thinking how id preferred the normal attachment, how i think i miss it, miss the place, miss the people, the food, the working hours, the sport and most of all some or most of the colleagues.. biasa tu eh, we wouldnt appreciate what we have unless we lost it... but yea, i think i will learn a lot from this new task.. its a very good opportunity.. nganya yth, new environment.. new people.. new new new.. and i dont like adapting to something new.. someday somehow.. il go back to these days and say how i miss it, how thankful i am to be here... wawawa antah kau manusia type c~~

therefore therefore i only left with plus minus 5 weeks holiday tia nganya lgi!! waaaa.. tnggal cuti puasa lgi tu. puasa, il be staying at home most of the time... huuu

sometimes.. we died trying to impress others.. we died enduring the pain on whatever impressions people had on us.. human and our stupid arrogance? human and our mistaken humbleness?

i guess, we are never really really ready for anything... thats what i always felt every morning of the exam days the last sem.. "i am not ready. i am never really ready for any of the subjects.. never really ready for anything..: "

oh guys, i dont know if any of u baca this.. but good luck to those who will be joining the bru-sin programme. have fun! hehe