oow.. life is a stranger

sometimes.. i cant control my emotions.. it doesnt go along with mind.. simple things bother you, just because u dont see it the way others do.. u dont see it the way u see it normally.. u overeacted.. but somehow.. it brings u back to ur nature.. or human nature; when u use nothing to control u.. to protect u- winded words but err..

ok2.. il give the wide perspective of it.. cos the real one, u know it.. but maybe u didnt see it the way i do.. so, yeah.. u wont understand.. u didnt.. and u might not..

here i go, one case:

u want something- to have that something u have to let go something else, cos u know u want it- on ur way of getting what u want, u lose so many other things- on ur way, everything went wrong, nothing the way u planned or imagined- and now u wonder IF its worth it to let go, to lose.. -u wonder IF the outcome will worth it, IF the result will be the way u wanted it- IF u will ever get what u want- and again, u begin to wonder IF u really want it, IF u deserve to want it, wonder and wonder IF u have made the right decision right from the beginning, u wonder where went wrong......

contohnyeee:

ure a lawyer, ure suddenly exposed to the world of filming, media and then ure interested in it.. well.. just like that.. ok, u tried once or twice doing the graphic or being the director.. u did ok.. still, doing 'ok' doesnt even seem promising; plus in the mean time ure a good lawyer, have so many good things to think of than the new film things- oh but now, u want to be in the film world- u gave up being a lawyer little by little (nda tarus plg, cos u know it best how to play safe)- on ur way of reaching where u want to be in the film industry, u let go one good case- on letting go one case, it adds to two.. three.. and four, just to be somewhere else- [note, ure not really there yet, but u think u will be there.. u can enter the film industry, u can play the role as director.. ]- letting go cases, ure losing one or two good clients- fine, nevermind.. u will fight.. nevermind losing some in order to gain some- BUT, having ur feet on film industry isnt easy.. ure new.. so many other good,handsome persona are queueing for the director role.. and hhhhh yeah, they have better exposure.. still, nevermind.. u can still fight.. -but u begin to think now.. if u were to fight, to continue fighting... do u fight for something u really want? do u want it more than them? is it fair to win over something u dont deserve cos someone else is losing what they really really want? will u do better than the lost one?- now, u will think.. is it worth it? to lose so many things just to win something that others want more than u do, where they are better than u are- and u know, there's only two choices: one, going back to where u were.. let go what ure creating and start over again : two, go on... take the risk.. u will end up getting what u want; to know that u really want it just like they do OR.. end up regretting ur decision right from beginning...

its no one's fault that nothing turned out the way u want it.. but, still...

oh man, its not life if its not about choices and decision.. huh?

and u know how this simple thing tells u a abit about life, about ur own self..