you step up, il step up too~~

im such a loser. i slept for many many hours. balik skulah, tidur.. lpas tu tidur.. tidur.. someone, get me out of this~~ haha.

define impress? for "im very impressed with you?" i mean, for me wlwpun it sounds flattering, wow you impressed someone! cool. tpi, i feel like it begins from something negative. ure impressed because u didnt expect that someone can perform that well. ure impressed because u thought they cant do this certain thing. ure impressed because u put a low expectation on them.

or.. ure impressed because u never met anyone else who is as good as them before? ure impressed because u never thought u can have the same courage like them? u can never act like them? u can never be as good as them? impressed because what u saw is a not an ordinary strength? diluar akal? haha. this sounds positive then. whatever. someone said that to me dulu, months ago. of course, i felt honoured. sungguh. haha. but looking back, im still wondering. "why?" just because he didnt have faith on me? or too much faith? because.. he saw me as someone weak? incapable? i dnt mind, cos finally i made him change his mind. i made him say that keramat line. i should have asked. should have. instead, i only gave him a smile. my regreted one smile. sorry that i mentioned this balik2. it is still lingering in my mind, somehow.


now, define courage? it doesnt necessarily mean : berani. someone who is not afraid of their weakness is courageous. someone who fights their weakness is even more courageous. && bla bla bla.. apani.. adawh words of wisdom, i read it on someone's PM.. "one's weakness inspired others more than someone who is so sure about themselves" antah, nda plg cmani linenya.. tpi mknanya catulah.. then, i start to understand now, why my weakness was once considered as strength. something that inspired others. i know now, how they could see something great in that weakness i once showed. im not saying i did something great plg, [well, sort of jua.. haha].. ndabh.. nda.. u get my point?

last time masa di kuliah, to be specific the subject was "usul feqh syafi'e".. ada tia this one malaysian bediri and asked a question. that was not usual. jarang urg asing kn betanya. i can tell the dukturah was very impressed. everyone was. her question was simple, yet good. sometimes i find good questions are those yg simple ones. yg tani tend to be careless about it. skali.. yth bh, she is the star now. everyone knows her name. hehe, labih aku ani.. well, cmatu lah.. she stood out. how did she do that anyway? i couldnt even pay my 100 percent attention in the class, couldnt figure out any question directly. kdang2, nda lagiku faham cakap dukturah. [sometimes awu plg, i give 90 percent 'presence' of body & mind. hehe]. even worse, i feel like kn btapuk bwah meja everytime the lecturer pointed out someone to answer her question. skali msani, byk tia student asing tnya2 soalan. plus byk jua lecturer yg suka menyoal. so so this girl, -name is a'idah- has successfully encouraged everyone to ask questions or at least to have that certain courage. utk aku, she woke me up. she encouraged me to pay more attention. haha.


i wish someone would just come to me and say "i like you" or "ure damn great". haha. i wish, someone would just send me flowers. a mysterious one. i wish someone would wait for me at the corner of stair or wall, waiting for me to pass by. just that. he wants nothing from me but my presence. as if that would make his day. i wish i could make someone's day just by looking at them or flashing them a simple smile? haha. i wish a stranger would stop me and ask me to take a picture with them? wahaha so random. no, just thinking that this would make my day. would make everyone's day. apalaa.. eh, jgn plg bini2- someone ani. keke. anyone wants to join my club? to wish what i wish? nyeha~~


im surprised to find myself updating this blog like everyday.. nda prnah2 ku buat post everyday.. andangnya.. lets just wait.. nanti blangau2 kali..