Chitan poo, childhood, and love

Wow.. havent been here for a long long time. sometimes i feel like writing but i cant concentrate! now at the office and i dont feel like.... working hard. hehehe.

Raya soon. And its gonna be a boring week fr me bcause both me and my boyfriend will be busy with our own things and.. its not gonna be like normal weeks.

That day we watched Ice Age trailer, the part where the girl dumped the boy because the boy is clingy... he said.. "tesindir ku eh" i was like... "what? no, i am clingy"

Him: "im clingy!"
Me: "im clingy!"

and it went on and on.. until "yah lets settled with we both are clingy then" 

At home, he speaks both chinese and english (less malay), and thenn he met his very malay girlfriend! nyeheh. indalah, at school and with most of his school friends, he spoke malay too but its just... abit karau and standard here and there. So one day i teased him, "you know 'injit2 semut sapa sakit naik atas'? pernah main when you were a kid?

Well aware that i was teasing him "oh, no inda pernah"

Me: "Yah? So u dont have a childhood"

Him: "Hmm. Have u ever played... 'chitan chitan poo'?" Now i knew exactly where he was going.. that i didnt have a childhood (too). Smart comeback, he learned fast from me the expert :p

Im happy.

But then even the seemingly happy couple do have their down side of the relationship, i believe. I used to look at happy couple and thought "there isnt a thing that would paint their relationship ugly. inda pernah kelayi ni eh" wrong wrong wrong. There will always be arguments and menahan rasa. Even on the most little, innocent stuff. Thats how relationship goes.. Whats more important is fr both to work on it and.. fight, no matter what. And i really really really appreciate the effort he made into our relationship. (maybe the effort that we both put into it? to be fair? haha)

We started as friends, not so close friends. Happened to be in the same scholarship programme. Didnt really share personal stuff or even personal character much. Then maybe 6 years later, we were in the same "tough" training. We were close, but i thought thats just close-friends. and i felt normal. because.. we were close friends.

 One lecturer would say "he is your best friend isnt he?" at that time, i thought he must have sensed something that i didnt..

Training made us close. I got to know him close and he got to know me. Id believe anyone who said they fell for me during that phase because thats the ugliest ive been and thats the best and worst of me ive shown. and i.. believed him. Its not that i didnt have any feeling for him. I felt jealous when he showed care to other girls and i felt jealous when other girls were interested in him. It was boring when we were going out and he wasnt there. I liked to look for him bcause it was more fun for me when he was around. But i thought.. that was just normal feelings, bcause he was a close friend..

So at the beginning of the relationship, a guy asked me how often me and my boyfriend argued in a week. I was annoyed with the questiion (someone from work, theyre usually annoying, with these kinds of questions. yg penting hati mesti open and tahan luka. ahaha). Like why does it matter how many times kami klayi? Not all relationships are the same!

Me: "Not too often. Sometimes klayi main2 catu saja"
Him: "Not too often. Balum rapat tu ertinya eh"

Reallyy? I was abit uncomfortable with that - alum rapat. It felt like my (so young) relationship at the time being judged. Yes ive known him for almost 10 yrs and we were close during the training. But.. was he right? As much as i wanted to deny, these days it rang true.

As time went by, there were more klayi, more heartbreaks (not really, as in.. i began to feel deeply. I cared when he couldnt make time for me, i cared when he broke his promises, i cared when he is hurt or sad, i cared with what he said and sometimes.. those hurt me. It didnt happen in the early relationship. There were times when i didnt mind if he wasnt next to me). Yeah there isnt so much to "how many times we argued and klayi in a week" most times, the week is clean. the month is clean. the months are clean. But there are times when the week is so dark too. ahaha.

Anyways, i guess thats how relationship is. Its not gonna be easy. Thats why i believe it when people say dont go for marriage looking for happines, but go for it knowing it wont be easy. There will be hearbreaks..

Sure marriage offers happiness too. But yes, its not gona be easy. Eseh

Im happy. I hope it stays this way.

Anyways. Selamat Hari Raya.