ohoh

yesterday a taxi driver made my day... he gave me a free ride.. wahaha.. i mean, its been a long time i havent been given a free taxi ride, skalinya dapat lagi... soo soo iski lah:p but well, i was being a gentlegirl also, insisted for him to take the money... ertinya just got an offer for a free ride sja lah tu.. :p

also jiranku pun gentleman lah kmarin.

aah, guess yesterday was gentlemen day. ohoh

today? workdone day. yahuu huu carpetku siap! sian eh, i told them my flight would be on 27/9.. skali inda jadi, tpi aku majal nyuruh karpet siap awal (naa, they promised me even before i confirmed my order and before i told them my flight date.. heh heh).. tapitapi i told them that i'll take the carper tomorrow nite 27/9.. nah ketara tia aku eksen.. sori bang, i'll explain :p

people

when you get to know someone u didnt really know before, u change ur perspective about that person.. u change ur judgments on them.. (eksen th tu mn ku ckap i have zero mindsetting about a person..)

when you get to know them, u learn to accept them.. or perhaps when you get to know them, u hate them even more..

but when you get to be close to someone, you sometimes change too.. because when youre with a person, u somehow learn some things from them, adapt with them, you bend to blend with them, they bend to blend with you..

and when you get to know someone better, get to be closer, get to accept them better, u find it hard to betray them... and therefore, when you get to know many someone, many people, be close to many, you'll find it hard to betray any of them... even the slightest bad words coming from your mouth, its hard.. and therefore, you'll be a better someone...

and if you can do that to just anyone, know or not, close or not.. if u can feel the same way, you'll really become a great someone...

round-a-bout

maybe somewhere along the way, i lost myself, found again, lost again, and perhaps lost forever, perhaps found again..

time can change a person, both for good and bad..

time, things, places, people, circumtances... everything.. they can change a person..

a lot could change, a lot had change..

today yesterday

*phone ringing*

noticed i didnt save the caller's number. but i always answer unsaved numbers anyway since i dont save many numbers jua, even tah yg patut di save. haha. plus since im dealing with this and that these recent years, there are many unknown important numbers, sometimes.

"this is a call from internet service"
"ok.. yes?"
"tomorrow we'll send someone to collect the payment"
"payment... payment?? what payment?"
"payment for internet.." -weak, suprised, almost-annoyed voice...

eh.. its been one month. inda terasa, pkir baru last week ku mbyar internet ani nyanta.. :s atau andang jua kebangangan lah. haha

cmana kn mngabiskan memanyap ani ah.. satu, kn tidur2 sja.. dua, sehari mnaruh satu barang ke kutak.. manath mau kan abis.. tiga, mbali barang baru....

soon my housemates will be back here, and also the freshies yang insyaAllah kan ambil rumah kami.... i have to siapkan the house before they come here.. karang kekajutan dorang.. haha. bjurit! plus lampung dapur rusak, i depended on lampung eksen2 yg main ampai sja these days.. skali i asked bawab for a new lampung since i cannot fix it myself psalnya tinggi bnr, kmi nada tangga.. but yesterday was the 3rd time i asked for this and he never came.. eksen eh.. inda apa, within this week ku mngunjar tangga! jangan sja beliau inda tantu rasa karang mliat aku mengangkut tangga naik! hmmm

and and got my official result! alhamdulillah. mngalih tu ah, came to school at around 1230pm, asked the people yg ala2 "receptionists" if results were ready.. she said they're photo-copying the results, then i met my friend and she told me the same thing - she was told the results would be ready in a half hour.. tunggu punya tunggu, bubut sana bubut sini.. smpai th pkul 4pm plus :s but but alhamdulillah alhamdulillah. syukur ya Allah :)

and now, having a relaxing week at home- for most of the hours insyaAllah :)

weekend (my)

i woke up today, and saw myself in the mirror : my dahi mysteriously got swollen! then i thought, "eh jerawat kali?" hahah. tapiiii... ia kn? looks soo no jerawat-like.. and therefore why?? my dahi bangkak woo..

then my parut/appetite doesnt feel good.. tpi aku tesliur asir sikui! soon soon ku lepak mnaguk segilin :s

sad the way i spent my days at home.. tidurr sja.. mcm impossibily able to sleep over and over again :s and i sleep early these days, tidur for 10-11hrs a day- days that im staying at home. think its because of the tiredness from going around the places for most of the days lah.. skali udah di rumah atu rasa kn mengampaiii saaajaa. maunya stay drumah luan2 sminggu atu smpai boring brabis kali, abis tu langis bersih rumah:p

tomorrow going to school again (praying for good news, good results. amin).... and then shopping and go play play..

i pray that this place will be fine and safe.. nothing's gonna go wrong.. amin

swing swing

tired and defeated. defeated by emotions:p in a foul mood. to specific things - tiba mall punya carefour counter and coffeeshop tiba mall yg btiada menunya... it would have remained as jokes given another day, another cycle of moon. begins hour 1 of mood swing? hahah

when something upsets you, jangan diamalkan the ability to feel upset and angry.. just let go, dont even think about it.. because once you take things too personally.. that'll become a habit. a bad one.. and so if youre so alienated to those bad habits and just so used to good habits, you'll become a good person too. blablabla:p

i have been in a good-happy mood these days! shouldnt be ruined by mood swing. hmmphh

tomorrow: mengunjar ayaaam/tolobb ajalah :p after tomorrow: cuti dalam rumah ahad: long day again :)

one moon

i have approximately one month left to spend here (but dont believe my words lah. haha)

i better start filling out my calendar! ;)

also, places to go, things i wanna do, pictures i wanna take, emm learn what can be learned, buy things, things i must do, create more wonderful memories, remember what should be remembered, appreciate even the smallest of things!

i hope i'll make the best out of the one month i have :)

(aaa but for now, i need a good sleep which is gonna be a little late jua pasal mbubut jam brunei, a morning hello would be good, just so i wont be missed for the day, tia krg :p and i need a proper meal - but already had two good meals tonight.. tapi inda jua mau kanyang, malasku masak lagi balik2 - also a long shower.. hmm a proper rest laah.. so that i wont look and feel miserable.. haha)

so... night night night, klw ku tetidur krg ku bngun lagi :p

fireworks

is it wrong to feel happy where and when you're not supposed to be happy?
is it wrong to feel happy when someone else is not?

it feels wrong, but what we feel is what we feel.. we may have to hide it, but still.. we feel it.

is it wrong to feel like belong where it is not even your place to feel so..
is it wrong to feel like home when it is not even your place to feel so..

it feels wrong but what we feel is what we feel... and somehow what we feel confused us so many times.. confused us of who we really are...

ive been way too selfish for most of my life... many times, i think of only my happiness.. trying to figure out what happiness means for me.. and in doing so, i forgot to consider other's happiness... forgot and forgot and forgot... because in doing so, i might have hurt others.. my happiness could mean otherwise to them...

and many times, ive been running away... running away from burdens of emotions.. of.. responsibilities.. going fr what makes me feel easier and happier... and in doing so, i left others behind.. i should have gone the way where their happiness meets mine... be there with them during happy times, be there with them during sad times.. not running away from either.. no matter where my happiness lies..

enough.

oh here is 3 syawal 1432 already. hmm not bad raya here. haha. macam raya bnar eh, except its one day one house. first raya at boss's house.. second at an egyptian schoolmate (friend's friend).. tomorrow going to another boss's.. hehe. then one more invitation. see.. busy this week jua rupanya.. haha.. we're not planning to set any celebration fr open invitation though, if there is any, then i think it'd be among ourselves saja.. hehe. i think its a pretty good closure of my stay here.. of my last eid here.. went to learn their culture more.. :) and managed to set that appreciative instinct in me :p

aah i saw fireworks just now!! just outside my window. brabis. i was stunned. literally karau mliat eh. hahah. they were pretty, they were colourful. tapi masatu ku mkan, udah th makan, karau lagi. haha. so, i watched them with amazement and impressed deeply.. thinking to myself how pretty they are and how i didnt want to forget those and how near they are to my window.. when i managed to think of my camera, then i thought.. i didnt want to turn my eyes away.. just so i could remember them in vivid pictures.. remember them for a long long time.. :)

okeh then.. selamat hari raya again!