lubang cacing

untuk switzerland, kmi telah mngorek lobang cacing. kerana telah tersilap korek lobang lain sbelum itu. (mamnu' mnaruh kerana after fullstop)

dan.. smoga sgala urusan dn pjalanan nnti bjalan dgn lancar, tnpa musibah dn bncana. smoga bmanfaat dan sangaaat seronok. amin.

smoga juga exam esuk snang dn kmi smua mnjawab dgn lancar dn lurus. najah dn berkat. amin.

sigh, im so counting the hours to the end of the final paper. i hate this. i like what i felt during exam last semester. fuuh. i remember counting the days/hours too last yr, first sem. oh oh alahai. final paper.. mudahan th okay, i mean.. fr all this time here, final paper has always offered 'something' extra.. haha.. hmm, first yr first sem: tafsir. pnjang and well, quite pyah. psalnya limited day given for revision. jarak sehari nganya. 1st yr 2nd sem: feqh syafi'e: pyah abis. kna rafak nganya nih ulih; alhamdulillah :) then 2nd yr 1st sem: apa ah? emm... tafsir!! yes yes.. that was the most difficult one bagiku. hit me the hardest. but.. alhamdulillah, miracle.. i got more than i deserve. like, brabis brabis more than i deserve. syukur, alhamdulillah ya Rabb. 2nd yr 2nd sem: hadis (obama case. which was supposed to be qaah bahas feqh muqaran), skali this hadis pn pyah. i had to tinggalkn many2 tajuk. alhmdulillah plg, yg kuar tu yg ku afal. but its so byk and pyah that hafalanku btaburan. klw tia skiranya qaah bahas, snang plg sikit.

point is, last paper slalunya pyah.. or pnjang.. or combination of both. tomorrow, miras: emm.. nda byk bnr kn diafal.. but.. miras bh.. confusing and all..

or was it because.. its the last paper? energy was already low. been consumed by previous subjects. hehe.

mudahan th tjwab esuk. mudah. lancar, lurus, nda cuai. amin. mudahan tni smua najah. amin

booney damoney

damon!! knapa lh kau beulah atu.. haha. its not usual to find a lovable villain.. i mean villain wh lovable? :p its not easy to combine such contrast in one character. damon is such a demon, jahat wh ia atu bnrnya, and yet i forgive him (i assume most people pn forgive ia).. like when he faces some dangers, i dont want him dead, dont even want him to get hurt. ia jahat, tpi skalinya ada urg kn bunuh ia or jahati ia.. i feel like jgnnnnn~~~ nda~~~ haha. (maybe except msa stefan kn bnuh ia psal lexi. haha. atu ok ku sikit)

jahat bh ia atu.. bunuh2 urg, yg innocent lgi tu.. esp part lexi lh.. but as i said, he is lovable. he is fun. humorous. gauk. has a good sense of sarcasm. he has this kjahatan but deep deep inside, people sense the good part of him. kononnya i believe he jahat for some reasons or dendam (still plg, its not right to be jahat anyway no matter how big big the reasons are).. he seems to care for those who matter to him.., in his own way. (si elena sma stefan th nganya kali so far. plus nini muyang si elena). yg pntingnya ia atu mcm siuk. haha

and aku ksiukan ep 11!! dunno if thats because i missed vd lah ah. byk isi crita. i like the part where elena said "hey i save your life" -- "i know" -- "and dont u frget that". i like the part where he listens to elena's conv -- "dont u pretend to care, i know ure gloating inside"-- like the part where he killed bree (SOMEHOW!!) --- like these dialogues "u know who i am and yet u offered me ur hand.." -- "i couldnt leave without knowing you" emm apa lgi? the part where stefan reveals the first time he met elena.. byk lh. (atau aku bkas stress exam, yth enjoy every bits of the story. hahah. ksian ksian)

i think, im gonna love this series much much. masuk list top 3 ni, maybe 2.. :D

exam~ exam~ exam~

tidur th kh? 6.59am, cairo

jiranku uu

welcome to 3904. :p

tingkat smbilan: living in the nearest door to us, is an old couple. i think drg 2 sj sana. but at times, anak anak dn kerabat mrk dtg.. emm.. at first i didnt like them. now.. ok lah.. slalu senyum and friendly id say? oh i even dingdongED their house once psal aku sasak arh urg zibalah, nasib nada urg. haha apalah :p

next door lgi sbuting, the one i talked about. twice. jiran yg kadangnya ku skodeng. esp summer, psalnya nd ku sngaja tetoleh ke tabuknya. hahaha. err.. mcm rmai yg tnggal sana. yg muda2, lelaki.. i think 3? smua diff characters. the eldest one (i assume lh), is.. sort of cold (arent cold people interesting tho? haha. emm depends lh).. he's not friendly, quiet maybe, or shy.. cold lh kali.

the middle one, friendly, emm how to say this? loves attention? haha sukati. jnis bgaya? boyish? dunno dunno. eye contact, sort of gentleboy or trying to be.. apa lgi? aah caring i think, from what i saw.. ia towards adinya

the youngest one.. looks like the most mature one somehow. caring, very. responsible. respectful. ive seen him with his sister yg damit.. mcm slalu adinya atu arh ia? once ia ambil adinya balik skulah.. then ada lgi lh ku liat. quiet but not cold.. gentleboy in a good way. nda boyish and looks like a good boy.

note: they all look younger than us.

hahaha sukatiku. bia tia bh.. lets play with my blink. i do trust in my blink :p (skalinya.. drg ani urg yg sma bnrnya.. haha :P)

next, jiran yg pling jauh, the same tingkat. just renovated their house. not sure how many people in there. i mean nt even sure byk kh nda. but of course i noticed this old paji. looks mysterious and mcm spisis yg bgi tkut kn dtagur.. that one time, i was sweeping the floor outside our apartment.. it was subuh.. like 5plus am. (note that rumah kmi ampir lift). then siuk2 mnyapu, suddenly i heard bunyi lift ah. i was like, cana ni.. should i go inside? but but it'd be too late. abis pnyapu tnggal, pntu nd btutup ni krg. so i played cool. tunduk. please please pretend that i do not exist. it was the paci. baliknya solat di masjid pakah. err. please, i do not exist. i do not... BUT: "kna kuyakkn smpah kmu"
me: "HAH?" esen kajut. tkajut plgku. haha
paci: "kna kakai smpah kmu. kuyak",
me: "awu"- bh jalan th. knapa tia bckap ani? and yes, he walked away.. dot dot.. and! nah he stopped, reverse ya "nah gula-gula ah. ambil tia" baginya tiaku tiga kh empat biji gula2. huhu. mngapa th.. nd juaku btudung tu. sluar lgi nd ckup banang. haa haa. ehhh tpi ia andang plg slalu bgi gula2 jua. hehe

rumah dpan kmi.. mcm kosong since batah batah udh. boh...

tingkat tujuh: a young man, looks older than us. or same age lh. is studying or was arh uni di ma'adi (biasa~ knalan. haha). friendly, a bit shy, looks like a good boy.. and has a girlfriend..

bawab: he was a good man, i thought. helpful. but atu was.. msani ntah ah.. dont really like him anymore. mcm lain dh.. something about you~ haha

siapa lgi should i include? nnti th, ada continuation lgi.. psal kdai runcit dbwah rumah lgi.. haha

oo oww oww

aii aii karan kmi tutup.. tapi kn.. punya lah magis aku mmpu beinternet wireless awal ani :p i think.. weak kali karannya? tdi tutup kholiss, skali after a few mins ada something2.. skali yg working sja arahku msani laptop (pkai karan) and internet.. speaker ku nda ia tebawai, tho the extension indicated bahawa karan sdang bpasang..

emm outside imarah and dbwah blmpung.. dluar shaah gelap.. dan jiranku buka tabuk lapisan luar (haha jiran eh, ia hensem bh. i mean drg, psal byk drg adi bradi, ndaku tau mna stu. haha. dont take that seriously :p)

bh bilath kn buka ni? kn behapa th ku ni.. aku belum mau tidor woo.. kn baca buku ni :p (udahnya nda blmpung tu) tidak saya ada emergency lite ah.. klw ada pn, ku pkai time desperate kali sj.. adih.. heh heh

hmmm 5.22am cairo.

pre-pra

aku tidak mau menyakitimu dgn kau mengetahui bahawa aku mnyukaimu..
kerna aku belum mampu ke jenjang itu..

by a guy, stolen somewhere from fb. nice one man.. haha. (the message it has.. both in the islamic and feelings way) :)

anyways.
it might hurt.. letting someone know that u like them and not doing anything to it?
it might hurt.. letting someone know that u like them and doing something to it? (emm?)
it might hurt.. not letting someone know that u like them?

hurt them, hurt them, hurt u hurt them.

(just.. feelings version)

malas eh..

apa sajalah

dan saya di sini lagi :D

ssungguhnya, target ku terbabas amat. aku sedang tersasar jauh dari trget kjauhan mnghafal. tapi, yes, take my quote: "mn target nda tesasar, nda tia adventurous" no good no good. sasat.

aku bukan tidak ada rasa kabak.. rasa.. rasa.. cuma, kalau aku kn sirius, sudah saya cakap.. masa previous post.. and thats no fun..

dan kadang kadang lagi, saya dilanda iskiness for the coming holiday. no good, no good.

emm my bed is extra comfy pun jua masani. kerana kerana aku telah-TELAH ('ubira bilmadhi. HAH HAH) membeli comforter yg kurang bjenama baru2 ini.. wrna purple, (utliqa ma'a extra info, mubalghatan. nda pun?)

jgn pernah lelah berdoa.. jgn pernah berhenti berusaha~

random:
one. kalau ku makan nasi, aku nda suka kuah lauk/sayur i.e: makanan selain nasi itu interfere dgn nasi. ia mesti nd di atas nasi.
two. i always order soto di kdai dgn mngatakn "bagi talur sparuh masak ah". perrghh
tiga. i like strawberry. this, u must know.
empat. this phrase "kalau awak ingin berkahwin dgn saya, awak kena terima saya seadanya" my phrase "kalau awak ingin berkahwin dgn saya, awak kena terima winnie the pooh saya seadanya" eksenku, winnie the pooh already included in the part "terima saya seadanya". hahaha
lima. this came to my mind just now : "kadang, apa yg tiada apa apa bagimu adalah segala-galanya bagi org lain"- taken from my sis. (her quote or others, saya tidak tau. tpi saya suka)
enam. i'd be surprised at how transparent i am actually. or transparent i could be. (consciously i think i am not transparent lah. tpi manaku tau)
seven. u'd be surprised on how much i care for you (insert your own verb; miss you, love you, etc2. things like that).. much much more than i would like to admit. ---- in bracket u'd be surprised on how much u dont know me. oppo of the above line.
eight. i dont quite like melayu saying "aigoo" hahaha. psalnya somehow kmbang buluku. tpi ku seluru jua kdg2, so no harm done.
nine. leave it blank lah, nada something in mind msani. haha
ten. i said i like u, and u just said 'ok?' hahaha.
eleven. u say sweet things to girls because u like them? or its just out of habit?
twelve. kalau ku ada super power, aku mau power si matt heroes kali. i said KALI tuu. (jan bcakap sma aku be TOH TOH TOH, as in ckap btaip and asfal min zalik yakni yakni ...... )
after 12. ndaku mau mngisar lada malar2. sikit lagi damam tadi tu. haha. over kh? kh? sakit bh

eh sangal blakangku.

kau rasa, kau fikir, (notice the difference :p)- kau rasa, kau fikir apa mood ku ni nah?

but yuhuhu

funny, how close i feel to this blog sometimes :P it could be my punchbag, i feel like i could talk just about everything, i could channel my unwanted energy here, i could throw silly thoughts, i could say things that others dont understand.. just.. funny. (not that everything, not too personal matters i mean).

not only because i know at least one person will read it.. but.. because.. there might be someone else who feels the same at the time.. who thinks just about the same thing.. strangers who might understand better.. who might care about what i say, what i try to deliver.. who and who, might and might bla bla bla.. i mean, its just.. JUST! ha ha ha (anubh, kdg2 nada jua urg baca, esp in cases i restricted my blog to myself.. but yuhuhu)

sometimes, i base my actions on my past.. and, good enough, it motivates me somehow sometimes. like, "ive been thru that worst thing before, then why fear? what stops me from doing this. i can" and bad enough, i always base my actions not on what was the best (way/things ive done) but on what i could survive with.. at.. i.e: my actions are based on survival NOT on the best possible result and outcome i could get. like, "aritu aku behata duit ke bandar spuluh ringgit nganya sminggu. this time, i can do the same" like, "the last time i did task like this, i did it only one night.. and now, what makes me need more?satu jam pun boleh" most of the time lah.. barangkali.. i guess its just who i am. (err am i sure? hahaha) ; ehhh jn jua, sometimes i do strive for the best.. :P :P :P and that usually happens for reasons.. emm? or maybe, i need to change :)

aah not to forget, i do base my actions on other people jua.. on what they do, what they think, their way.. etc2.. this, lies on the fine line between "i'd be at my best, i'd be at my worst" or maybe, i need to change :)

choices have always amazed me. the way humans are given with the ability and opportunity to choose. the way choices are made.. the why-s, the who they are that determines their choice.. and how.. such choices shape themselves.. make difference to their life.

if i always take things seriously, i might die early... it doesnt suit me right, or so i think :)

monotone

HA HA HA! couldnt remember i have the ability to cry that much.. that.. hurt my eyes and head, not to forget, heart.

its hard to explain.. its just everything.. for all that ive kept inside.. for every little thing ive tolerated.. all things that ive tried to ignore.. all that i thought i was okay about.. every sorts of emotions ive buried inside.. everything, everything that ive tried to put behind..

and.. every mistakes that ive made, towards everyone, towards everything.. every mistakes that were made, towards me.. all the pain..

the strength i thought i had, the patience i thought was thick.. all this long.. all this long.. all this time..

it was so sudden.. made me angry, made me sad, made me down, hurt me. i guess i was just tired.. and suddenly i was tired of everything. stress? aah maybe.

it was said, "be careful with those who dont get angry often. once theyre angry, the anger will shake the earth. scares the life out of you" and.. id like to apply to : those who dont cry often, will cry badly once they do. they might scare the life out of you too.

emm. my days werent that bad kali.. when i woke up today, i found one kind of magic. hahaha. ndawah.. i have this jam (clock). a few days after i came back here, abis tia batterynya. and stop tia working. its been 3 months. didnt change the battery psal aku malas (i have two spare battery plg~). then, today.. i heard the tick tick sound.. eh jam ku jalan smula? emm. how? malasku mikirkn. kalau scientificnya apa? cold weather and the battery dan basi2 contracted skali batterynya kancang tia lpas tu working tia (all this long, nda kancang lh batterynya kirakn). hahhaha. antam kau. adakan~ hahaha

(err.. err.. if i remember correctly jua. mnatau ada ku tukar battery udh tpi nd ingat? or psal brgku byk gugur2 last 2 nights? ha ha. when i calculated it, the jam start baik 8 hours before i woke up = just when i started sleeping. pun kalau lurus)

jadinya becrita psal jam?

i guess we all are selfish, in one way or another.

blind

sometimes.. its just too hard to explain..

its just too hard to express..

that it all come as tears..

im absolutely down.

ceh

WHEN ALL I NEED IS SLEEP, A QUALITY, SOUND SLEEP.. I CANT EVEN DRIFT INTO ANGAN2 PRE-TIDUR. TIDUR TIDUR AYAM PN JADI TH, ASAL BKUALITI. ANI NDA MAU TIDUR. NDA DPAT TIDUR. NDA DPAT


kn tidur jua ku ni. kn tidur. kn tidur. kn tidur.

sasakku. sasaakkkk bnr bnr bnr. ceh

negative lagi post ku ani

tidur thhh

i think.. panic starts to attack me. specifically on the exams part.. and.. to be honest, im quite scared. i mean it. apart from being slow and all... i feel... so.. i dunno.. kekurangan? ketinggalan? antah, what is this feeling? :( and i know, when i start being like that, i wont be able to think straight.. i might stop being myself for some times.. and that.. might change everything. so so. please myself, just relax. i.. miss the feeling i had during exams the last semester..

for now, i cant think straight. i cant focus. i hope to gather myself soon. soon. soon please. amin.

ya Allah, permudahkanlah segala urusan kami. mudahan najah. fil imtihan, fiddin, dunia wal akhirah. amin. amin.

*i hate negative posts at times like this, tapi ku post jua! hahaha. i believe strongly in positive thinking. i believe reading positive lines, words, mingling with positive people etc will make me a happy, good, brave, positive person.. etc2 bla bla bla. hahahha.

MUMTAZ. NAJAH. EASY. ENOUGH TIME. RELAX. HAPPY. EASY. EASY. EASY. SAMPAT. SEDIKIT. FAHAM. MUDAH. SIUK. RELAX. ILMU. HIJAU. SENYUM. SENYUM. SENYUM. RELAX. WILL. MIND. POWER. LAJU. SMART. SMART. SMART. DONE. EXCELLENT. SEMANGAT. SENYUM. RELAX. SENYUM. SENYUM. AAH, I BELIEVE YOU CAN DO IT SWEET :)

:p

shadowyyy

"fight ur own shadow. (and) be tensed on Wednesdays and Fridays" -

not wise enough uh? but this was in my dream. hahhaah. cali, aku mimpi cani and i remembered the line lagi tu. emm.. not that wise, not that fancy.. not that beautifully deep, but deep.. i mean, whats important is the message it brings. whatever we think it means. haha :)

err.. i dont think i read that line somewhere tho? that.. it really was originated from my dream.. mcm.. klw ku mimpi catu its like i was thinking of something2 yg ada line catu kh.. or adaku nmpak line catu2 somewhere before atu.. but.. antah, i dont think so. haaha

anyway. im happy sikit. im not happy in general cos ive got books to read. aku baru brapa kaping ulihku :( got a full schedule ahead jua. but im happy because of one thing that originally i was so happy and excited about, skali aku frust and mnyamal and nd happy, but now i am happy smula.

ngalih sjaku marah arh si alain. ngalih sjaku frust. wasted our time actually. i was careless, we were. tpi si alain ani satu jua, why didnt he check for us? why didnt he correct us? huh. i almost gave up after the first attempt. a few days ago, after our last try.. i already did give up. luckily ada reply, and i am going along with the plans now. alhamdulillah. insyaAllah. BUT first thing first, lets do our best in this exam. mudahan najah cemerlang. dan berkat. amin. amin.

*moral of the story, dont be careless, and alain is such an inconsiderate man. and dont give ur whole heart to something yg will able to frustrate u (sgala yg duniawi), and never ever ever give up! there is always a way.. there always is.. if we are willing to find, if we believe we will, if we are patient enough.. yg pnting jua doa.. :) -mcm serious wh yg ku frust kn ani.. haha, but still the moral of the story jua..-

and and.... im looking forward to the marathon tomorrow. im happy fr the good response! (eseh). mudahan nada masalah dan mudarat. amin. (pun mcm serious)

aah. i hope, i can stop this sleeping habit soon.

threefifty am

"he did what he did.. not because he thinks its the right thing to do..

he did what he did.. perhaps because he always prefers to see things from its middle side..

he did what he did.. because.. because.. he couldnt bear seeing her suffer like that.. seeing her in such pain.. he couldnt.. he just couldnt..

if she did wrong, she did wrong.. he knows.. he knows.. he knows that better than anything else.. he.. didnt mean to defend whats wrong.. but thats not the way to deal with mistakes.. and.. all he knows.. all he knows.. she needed someone by her side that time.. all the time.. he.. hated her mistake, no doubt.. but.. he loves her.. always.. no matter what..

sadly, no one understands no one.. and if he does, he feels so helpless.. but does he? is he?

she has suffered a lot.. she has been in great pain..he prays, he prays.. she will always be blessed.. now, then, and ever.. he prays, she will meet all the happiness in the world.. he prays, she'l always be happy.. always.. in this life, in the afterlife.. (amin). "

-a boy's diary, from a friend to a friend-

aah.

anyway. what ive been up to lately? sigh.. just started my revision. mcm siput. emm.. facebook games, full house; balik2 ku liat, sedih jua ku lakat. hahaha. ooh, and sleeping like like.. err.. urg lpas marathon. haha. like what? 10-11hrs. ceh. malas and malas. and esuk, going joli2. tpi saya mcm iski. tesliurku donut ahh. bannar th, mcm nda kn exam. huhu.

and yea, kmarin2.. the zibalah man made my day!! (err sikit2 sja, the very little part of my day, at least :P) i mean.. i dont like him, verrryy much. haha. he.. aalways made me marah.. ; if u remember my multiply post "anger can be beautiful, no? haha" aah, thats him i was talking about. hehe. ytah, kmarin2.. there he was.. skali we didnt argue much.. potpotpotpettt. sekata sjalan tia~ seseh. yth skadar. psal aku lawa kali aritu. hahaha

bh

goodluck all. bittaufiq wannajah tani smua. mudahan najah cemerlang. amin amin. :)