ssshhhuuutt

i... ive watched shutter island. this specific cinema was my first time.. we went fr midnight show.. in these quite busy weeks-i havent been at home fr a whole 24hrs fr a week plus- i said "this better worth it; to stay up this late while we are all tired" i know, it'll worth it...

ive been waiting fr shutter island.. fr.. like.. 6 months! when i watched the trailer (the day i watched the orphan).. i said "this movie is a must".. it was scheduled to be released in oct, 09. so, i waited.. but.. it was then delayed to feb, 10. i googled just now.. on 'why', said.. due to economy, main reason lh.. thats what they told.. antah bnr kh nda...

BUT after watching the movie, i think, my 6 months of waiting is not worth it. hmmmp. okay, i was curious. thats the beauty in it. thats what kept me going. tapi... the whole movie, it was okay. kalah kali lah 2012.. tpi.. its not like what i expected.. i shouldnt have given such high expectations i guess..

AND as fr watching it in the midnite.. i.. i dont mind. i dont plan to wake up early krg anyway.. but i wont call it worth-it jua.. since ive been waiting fr that long, so its okay fr me to pick such a wrong time, no regrets darlingssss.. haha

this movie is like.. emm.. m.night shyamalan's style.. u have to wait fr the climax.. the biggest asset of the movie.. the focal point.. antam.. haha.. means, usually at the ending.. where we go "wah rupanya!!!" or "cis rupanya".. u know the sixth sense? at the end of the movie, i went "wah.. rupanya....." it gave me satisfaction that i will always remember.. klw endingnya bkn cmatu then the movie'd be nothing.. buring.. and shutter island is more to shyamalan's "the village" lah.. and.. i dont really like the village, its the "cis rupanya".. ngaleh sjaku mnunggu/mliat.. ngaleh sj wondering what was that all about.. tpi tpi tpi byk2 better plg lgi shutter dari the village.. aku sasak tu the village ah..

now im thinking.. yes, maybe the delay was because.. the movie is just.. kurang siuk.. heee heee u read more lah on why-s theory.. then u'l have ur own assumptions.. *sukati

pointnya aku nda puas ati.. heeeeee

more than black....

sunrise- view from the top of jabal

so. there was bazar. naik jabal Musa (Alaihissalam). and maher zain's concert. thats how my week was.

sasakku eh, there were times when some things popped in my mind and i felt like posting them here. tpinya lupa tiaku, mn nda lupa pn byk tia alasan2 yg damdimdum :p nda tia jdi~

im happy that ive been to jabal. smpai ajat :) esp th bakas baru2 jua blajar psal dakwah nabi Musa the previous semester, yth siuuukk. but, on the hiking part.... i dunno, somehow its quite difficult to describe what i really felt.. i... didnt get what i wanted.. tho im not really sure what was it that i wanted... every step that i took.. the wind that blew past my face.. every centimeter that i climbed.. everything that was around me.. i really really wanted to feel every each one of them... entah ah, i didnt feel what i wanted to feel.. hmmm id say, kurang penghayatan lh.. ah ha ah ha.. maybe jua, its the fact that i was soooo iski to reach the puncak that i almost didnt feel anything.. too much adrenaline.. haaa haaa.. the hiking was okay, Alhamdullilah. maybe the weather helps very much jua (oh plus the unusual iskiness)

and then.... maher zain's concert.. the first time i heard of him was from wani kahar. hehe. that was a good concert. nda sasak. cool. aman. element of dakwah. maher zain and his songs are indeed cool anyway. i like it. but what i like the most was namira's part.. when he sang "ismi misr"-bkn plg tjuknya... man... i fell fr the patriotism once again. lawa! tpinya... nyasalku.. aku tu mrakam from the beginning of the song, yes. record.. record.. record.. and i stopped. i stopped just a few seconds before the best part- a few more seconds before the ending!! sasakku eh. just seconds before he said the "ismi misr". huhu. thats exactly when it hit a corner of my heart bnrnya. haha :p nyasal eh.. then everyone (urg misr) was standing.. applauding; showing respect, showing patriotism, loyalty, humanity, glowing spirit... it was.. beautiful... :)

emm abis tia :D

BUT did u actually notice my layout? of course lh :p credit to Amalina Qayyimah Hj Kassim. ia buatkn the layout. i told her what i want, then she came up with the original idea. and i gave further instructions. now, do u see me in the layout or si qay? haha. thanks a lot qay.. my blog is more than black now :D thats the business between us sbnarnya. if ure that curious.. haha.

sekian~

psikologi seekor kucing

back at home, we have a cat. (we used to have many many cats. and there was one time when our cats smuaaa kaler and patternnya sma, oren balang2. hehe cute, smua sma. that time they were like 4-5 ekongs. i even watched one of them die. i saw his struggle, i saw him surrendering his last breath, i saw his hand went weak and fell.. if u imagine it like a movie, then it was. sad..)

bh. this one cat is also oren balang2 of course, the last generation. hihi. early months of last year, my sis told me that this cat (emm named mangmang lh), okeh mangmang was terribly sick. she was weak, very very thin (skeleton-shaped), refused to eat anything, couldnt jump, slept only at one place.. actually, she barely moved. sister said, she was confident mangmang only had some few days/weeks left.. i felt something.. i mean, i know i wasnt that nice to mangmang.. but thinking of not seeing her fr the last time, thinking of those terrible things i said or did to her.. i was sad..

i said to my sis to tell mangmang to be well. dont be sick, get well soon. that im sorry and please dont die.. at least wait fr me to come back.. (AHHH please dont imagine me saying these things in dramatic way haa. i was partly joking, but.. i meant those words.. :p)

my sis was sad as well, she loved-loves mangmang. so one day, when she felt helpless, mangmang was.. yea hopeless.. she talked to her..... "mangmang, u know my younger sister right (mentioning my name).. the one whom i share room with.. she said sorry.. wait for her.. dont u die.. it wont be long till she get back.. so please.. get well.." *HAHA i laughed out loud you know when i heard the story.. but dont laugh.. i do talk to cats too. its kinda normal..

and.. taadaaa. miracle~ the next day, mangmang started to eat.. and.. yes, she got well and bulat smula. not that id called it miracle, of course most probably that was just the time fr her to get well. maybe fate.. maybe prayers.. Allah's will.

again, i laughed out loud when i heard everything. i laughed.. because i thought it was.. sort of funny... i was happy.. and well.. touched.. (psal in many ways, i know cats have feelings.. cats listen.. asi2 th ku kn bpkir mangmang missed me! mangmang felt loved! whatever lah. haha. mcm coincidence bh eh.. haa~ haaa~)

im reminded of mangmang, of this story.. because i am not feeling well now... not that bad.. just a minor flu.. my voice doesnt even change.. i just feel weak.. and u know, i hate throwing up (dunno what caused that huh?!).. you see.. even cats need some psychological boost-up.. what makes u think i dont need one? :p cheer me up. treat me extremely well. shower me with love. HAHAHA. boooo, such a baby!

again, im not that unwell. i just feel weak and lazy~ mudahan baik lakas2. amin :D

here goes my story

addressed to my sister:

aku ada crita "CALI". huh. (hopefully im not disturbing yuh i.e with this annoying to be story/keluhan sdang2. haha)

tdi housmates and me jln to this place yg tmpat bali the galangs etc, naik taxi of course. i was 3/4 of the way diam kali, but that one time bcakap th ku rh one of the mates, oney. skali driver taxi mnoleh tia.. nya "apa?" aku mcm buat mua bngang. "hah nada2" BUT within that split seconds... BUKKK. tlanggar ya wh buntut krita dpan ah. CALI.

but NO cali cali, i was pissed off (still am, with urg sni in general). sbabnya just after ia gedebuk, ia toleh arhku lgi, with those eyes and that smile..... he was blaming me. haha. nda plgku tkut. i was more to shocked. i mean, how could he???!!

ok la, have to admit ada jua salahku. sbab aku bsuara tarus2 kali. and that i was mentioning the thing on the road sign, mcm "eh oney, ada rupanya tmpat atu" (mcm eh oney, ada rupanya jln yg nmanya putat?) catu lh. TAPINYA kn.. mngapa th ia kn concern dgn ckapku atu. andangnya taxi drivers sni ani, sibuk2 ya bpkir kmi bckap dgn durng (when ckp mlayu). jnth wh kn dlyan kmi bckp mn rsanya balum lgi ampir bnr rh tmpat kmi mau aga atu.nada jua kn diconcern kn YET tu. huh. plus ia atu tdi andang jua drive mcm apa. kpisan, mn brunei eksiden kali udh. mau2 lgi kn salahkn aku. liat kh sja dri cramin atu cana kmi bcakap, mn ku kn bcakap dgn ia ada th ku majal wh tu, ani nda pedah2 tnya nya apa ku ckap. sma kn, mn udh andang rsanya style diri atu drive membuntuti krita urg/krita dpan andang ampir dri tdi, jnth sibuk2 kn mnoleh kblakang. IHHHHHH. pissssss.

tpinya urg sni COOL wh bnda2 eksiden ani, u lnggar buntut krita urg and then nothing. kna marah sja. abis. after ia bmaaf2an dgn urg dpan, ia ckap lgi arhku like "baik jua nada papa. ko atu bcakap. bla bla bla" ndaku fhm bnrnya, i was just assuming. tpi sasakkkkuuuu. these days lgi aku sdg byk disasakkn ulih urg2 sni. and tdi completely pissed off. nah mcm defensive plg bunyiku. haha

(i know im not really considering how it feels like to be a driver. mcm apa rsanya klw passenger blakang ckap something rh kwannya and aku fkir ia ckap sma aku. huh. psal ia drive nd steady jua tu, that i hate the fact ia blame aku. and knapa ia msti mnoleh when the car dpan atu ampir?? bulih jua ia ckap sja "APA?". sasakxx)

sasakku eh :p

**my sister then said, this story reminds her of the time i was accused by this young annoying prasan samsing-some girl cashier guardian yayasan -for stealing one of their products. marahku dang kn kdiakau.... u wanna know this one too? emm.. lets see if i can post later ha.. (aku ingat/mau/snang kn tulis the story, cos u see.. feeling marahku karing sudah, jdinya nda tia siuk mnulis)

hello again

there wasnt much reason fr me to be here. except when i wanted to visit blogs... didnt really know what to post. its been a month aye? andangnya tu eh, time exam sibuk2 th mcm2 kn dbuat (psal stress?) and after holiday..... breaksss from everything.

just.. ystrday.. i was blamed (partly) ulih the taxi driver. short story, housemates and me went to hussien, naik teksi lah. i didnt talk much. but that one time i said something to one of the mates. and the taxi driver mnoleh, ia ckap "apa?". aku buat mua bngang and said "hah? nada2" BUT within that split seconds..... bukkk!! ia tlnggar buntut krita di dpan. (to be continued) hahaha. will post later this story, insyaAllah. copy paste the one i wrote fr my sister. hehe

ytah.. it just strikes me lately... i remember how much i loved egypt.. fr the freedom i always feel.. fr the country being 'whatever-i-dont-care'.. fr her having no rules.. like, doesnt require me to behave such such ways, to dress in such such ways.. etc.. seems like no one competes no one, i dont feel burdened with expectations... loved that. still do, but... reducing so much. suddenly. no, not sudden. its... after i got back from holiday, swiss.

not that i love love swiss so so much, memuji tahap dewa dewa (tho i do really love sana plg).. its just.. the people, the country, the system were so good, i mean.. at least they gave me such a good first impression.. they were nice.. that subconsciously i began to compare them with egypt. mcm jauh brabis bezanya.. when i got back to cairo.. jnth jauh, cairo airport sj.. i.. somehow.. had this feeling yg sanak sasak annoyed byk2 rh urg egypt (aah so mean aku ah!).. how could they be so pnipu, how could they be so nda helpful, how could they be so rude, so angry, so bising, so cuai, *ndalah smua urg*.. how could the road be tlmpau zahmah, how could it be so unsystematic, so bising, so polluted, so........ aah. i compared!!

and after that, anak bawab lgi kn mnta usin sja... urg arab di imarah nakut2i kmi pkai kuyuk itamnya.. many other things.. and plus yesterday, the paci taxi seemed to blame me on the accident.. everything! im annoyed with every little thing...

oh then, there were days here ujan2.. the rain, the thunder.. remind me of brunei. remind me of home. of course, when i compared swiss and egypt, brunei was in my mind. then, lately ive been thinking about home. about the food, the place, the people... after all, there is no place like home.....

i guess, im missing home :'( ... like ive never missed it before...

swiss somehow opened my eyes to appreciate home more and more. (tho in a bit weird way, like.. aku kbisaian swiss then i see so much flaws di egypt (not that i didnt see them before. its just mcm bgnda gnda), my love fr here reducing.. therefore after all.. the place i love the best is where i grow up.. where i was born.. no place like it.. weird chain of events. // weird way of thinking. hahaha. whatevess :p)

not that i dont like it here nemore plg, still like eh.. and i know.. il leave this kind of life here eventually.. il miss it so much.. il always remember how it makes me feel... :) :)