we are we are..

ive made a mistake once... (i mean, of course lh mistakeSSS.. ala you ani.. )

bh start again: =p

ive made a mistake once... and this one mistake.. made me who i am now... its not err.. that big BIG one.. but big enough to let me see one thing quite clearly..

i know i might make that same mistake again.. such an easy mistake.. aah mistakes are easy anyway...

but ive been great in avoiding it.. i.. but it hurts.. once so many times.. i dunno.. maybe im quite sure with one thing and so blind about another.. sigh i really dunno.

all i know is.. ive never been certain.. never been sure.. all i want.. is to be certain.. to be sure... and along the way, i know il have to endure some pain? or.. perhaps, i dont have to? i dont have forever, i cant give forever... but...

it makes the good part of me, it hurts some other parts of me, it blinds me, it... it... its like.. "its right but its not right"

i guess the fear thats left in me is the mistake...

is it the fear? am i afraid.. of what exactly??

....................

sorry sorry sorry~

wlaupun ssungguhnya aku mungkin adalah seorang manusia yg kdg2 kurang perasaan... tapi... tapi... sepatutnya... sekurang2nya... aku patut selalu cuba utk mnjaga hati org lain.. mnjaga prasaan org lain~


hahaha


fine, im sorry. sorry. sorry.

u know.. if i could.. i really would..

*sigh*

say say say

say, i dont like smokers.. then one day, i fall in love with a smoker (malboro lah. malboro nganya yg ku pling tau.hahaha).. and.. i dont even mind the fact that he smokes... ; not the part i dont mind he's losing one hr of his life with every cigaratte. ndalah.. bukn atu..

say, i dont like sweet talkers.. then one day, i fall in love with a sweet talker.. and.. i dont even mind their killing candy-sweetness..

say, i dont like guys with kumis.. then one day, i fall in love with a guy yg suka simpan kumis.. and.. i dont even mind that..

say, i like a guy who doesnt fall in love with just anyone.. yg.. yg.. kinda nda pndai show lovenya with words? then one day.. i fall in love with a guy who expresses love in every way he could.. with every possible jiwang words.. who falls in love with every girl he sees.. and.. i dont even mind.. i guess, he found me.. and will love only me.. (taepaww.. ykh jua.mcm malasku ingau)

say, i like a guy with such beautiful, soothing voice.. and one day.. i fall in love with someone who sings like wolf, burp like frog.. and.. i dont even mind listening to his voice everyday.. every hour.. every second..

because because there must something else in them that makes us wanna stay.. oh forever~ oh~

AND he should be proud (hahaha mengapa~)

emm.. because.. u see.. if a guy hates emm apa ah? bini2 rambut itam.. then one day he finds me.. and fall in love with me.. he dont even mind my black hair.. balikannya shampoo mbagi kuat2 kaler itam rambut lagi.. khambanggxx juaku tuuuu

i guess, we can never really set anything (precisely) in a guy, in a girl.. we meet, we love.

he who loves you for who you are, he who will laugh, who will cry with you.. until.. your very last grey hair.. he who will love your flaws.. he who completes you..

cakcakcakcak.perghhh

100th

oh i surely miss this one... but.. yea, but.. and always but..

i happen to mention this in my 100th post. you should be proud. ahah

i miss you!

KAU TU *insert name*

why did-does it it make me angry like thisssssss??? why???? this is so crazy.. i mean.. i hate this anger. this is one of those that make me cry... cittt.

i dunno why. why would it crush me this much. right. i know. apart from the rudeness, apart from the mish maul part, apart from everything else... i am angry because..... it feels like.. one of my so-clear vision-dream-apa sjaLAH YG KAU MAU!!! has been crushed.. at least a part of it. plus ndaku kira ku salahkn jua pmssssss. MANASAJA THHHH

talurrr eh. i know, there must be a solution. there is. there is. i will find it if i want it so much. but... i hate everything bout it now. banciku sja bbnr nh. so much that that it blurred my eyes, my vision, my thinking. that that... i dont want it anymore....... ANTAH EH

*i know... once i cool down, il hate this post. caliii kaliii :(*

smile smile

i feel tired (and lazy lh) lately. why ah.. i dont think i work hard.. nda jua do much.. hormon2.. salahkn hormon. ahah (nada pun~ out)

hikhik, today, for the emm 4th time kh? saya/kami kna bwa menyebarang jalan raya lgi ulih arab~ hahaha.. but today, malu ta ku sikit.. didnt even look at his face, didnt thank him. (housemate sja, psal aku jauh~ alasan) psal aku tkajut.. and.. antah.. because its been so many times.. kmi kna dangani.. not that many times plg kali.. tpi for normal people, thats considered many lah.. see see how nda andal we are. nda andal kh tu ah? (not WE, id say.. its more to me.. i think i affected them sometimes.. i mean i mean.. im scared.. ) aah, i wasnt like that. i wasnt scared because of nothing. something made me. something changed my mind somehow..

emm.. sweet stranger~ haha :) sweet stranger(ssss). tpi saya gembira for the little kindness he showed. so my.. we must do one little kindness everyday.. who knows, that'd put up a little smile on someone's face. ESEH KAU.. :P

i told you not to be where i cant see you.. -tae kyung :D

craps.. can be beautiful? haha

huu its already 11th dec.. im so undeniably pmalas.. most of the time, when i thought i hv nothing else to do; by nothing else i mean.. I MEAN, abis udh kn dkrajakn, kn diliat, kn dibilak dlm laptop ani.. (sad rite? that i think like that.. cuath aku start blajar...), id go to my bed, buried myself under the slimutan.. sajuk bh.. when i got a little warmer, id refuse to go out of slimut.. and that brought me to another phase.. which is TIDUR.. aii.. mengapa~ i really need some sort of injection.. hormon smangat.. bila th??? come on mind, come on body, come on heart, come on soul, work together scara positive!! wake up wake up!! (ehem)

u know, i agree with the "less is more"? because i realise, most of the time, say, when i try to be funny, i wont be funny.. when i try to impress people with my work, with my ways, i end up feeling awful.. when i put so much effort in thinking of solution, creating ideas, it all be too much, bida, buruk, mish ma'ul, crap... and.. one more thing, i cannot feel intimidated.. again, il do crap. (because we expected too much kali? skali we gain less therefore frustated?)

its when i dont think much, i dont overdo, i dont try so hard.. it is when im effortlessly thinking, doing, walking.. baruth mnjadi yg ku mau.. (opposite2 : we expected little, kalinya gain more. therefore happy~~~)

sukatiku lah...

its like, when i try to draw a beautiful scenery, a beautiful drawing.. i spend so much time thinking, "what coulour will i put at the upper corner of this paper?" "should the line be bolted? naaa i should make something rectangular" then i prepare all branded watercolour set.. planning what colour should be used precisely.. there is this picture in my head that i think would impress the buyers.. but.. unfortunately no one buys.. i got stressed out and put all the colours so randomly on another paper, brush green here, blue there, pink on the corner.. its all macam crap (mcm katam bh. nd paham. wawaa), it seems to be stupid idea... skali apanah? it turns out to be one of the hottest, psalnya no one else does like that.. its kind of unique.. its different.. people love it because its fresh.. therefore reach the standard of beauty they want.. unexpected? maybe! thats why.. jgn th tkut kn bgi idea yg mcm out2.. no thought is stupid thought, no idea is a crap idea, no opinion is wrong.. because, BECAUSE, people is just different! value our own standard ourselves, there must be someone out there who thinks like us.. (cakap th kau sini sndiri~ mcm si bnr, diri sama jua.. hahaha)

*eh it feels good bagi example arh drawing bcz aku nd pndai mlukis? haha

yatah, less is more. jgn jdi extremist. hahaha. nda bh, dont get it wrong there.. when less is more.. jgn plg spend little effort in something2.. sila masukkn arh situation dan definition yg lurus, i believe u hv experienced "less is more"

i dont really know when usually id function at my best.. bnr.. haha.. mostly during unplanned ones.. tpi random id say? i could be at my worst during my unplanned times.. and i could be at my best when i planned everything jua.. aah canilh, when i believe i can do it, i can.. when i believe im doing my best.. its gonna be the best.. haha.. bnar kali ah, the power of positive thinking :)

emm.. to me, personally, (barangkali), il function at my best..when i love what im doing.. i mean, as long as we love what we do, we love our effort, we love our drawing, our ideas, our arts.. with no intention of impressing others, without having to match others punya standard.. we are at our best, insyaAllah.. asal ati puas and happy.. ececeh :)
and plus during desperate times.. when there is no others.. there is no time.. i could not depend on anyone else but me.. tpksa lh.. skali bisai tia.. psalnya masa desperate, the unconscious parts of me teDig tia sndirinya.. antah kau, manasja.. tpi bnr.. haha

pnjang eh. aku bukn kn buat ani bnrnya, melaghat tia.. huhu, bear with my beautiful craps. hahah

hazel eyes

sometimes when i wander around, walk around, sit around.. wah.. haha.. i got a feeling that someone's watching me.. sometimes, id follow my instinct and look at their way.. nah ada bnar.. or.. eh nada pn? hehe.. tpinya.. yth wh.. there are actually times aku trasa kna liat.. as in kna perhati.. bnr atau prasan, antah th tu..

but.. there was one time.. i was in this place, fixing my eyes on this guy (i meant nothing! antah, saja2ku) he was talking animatedly with his girlfriend ..one, two three four five six seven seconds... zupp he suddenly looked at me. one shot, turned his head my way and straightaway his eyes were fixed on me... i was wondering "did he feel like i was watching him? or was it just coincidence?"

so, whats yours? ahah

id say.. instincts are quite powerful? haha :)

can i hold ur hands?

"why? i cant hold your hand?" jaacob. (sp). somehow.. i kinda like that part. haha. to me, it presents that holding someone's hand(s) means a lot. if u tend to hold just anyone's hands saja2.. nda tia spesel. apaaraa kau. kau bh.. haha

"Ruang kosong di antara celah-celah jariku ini dicipta untuk dipenuhi oleh jari-jarimu.. hanya jari-jarimu.."

makanya.. jgn lh memigang tgn orang yg blainan jntina kecuali slepas nikah yg sah. hahahha :D

i am here.. i am here.. i cant be any nearer, but i am here.. :)

morning winter~

aakkuu~ bngun~ awal~ aku bngun awal~ yihihi.. :P -skadar :D-

it feels good... klw.. klw iklas jua tu.. lurusnya jarang2 jua.. ahah..

but.. its gonna be a long day, going to school later.. then going to some places.. then.. ada kelas plus plus malam itu lagi.. hope im gonna do well today (ceeeh)

u notice that i always refer UNI as school? it feels more friendly, young, carefree and more to home when i mention 'school'. haha :)

bh its gonna be a good day!! amin

bismillahirrahmanirrahim :)

la~la~la~

There's always gonna be another mountain.. I'm always gonna wanna make it move.. Always gonna be a uphill battle.. Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose..

Ain't about how fast I get there, Ain't about what's waiting on the other side, It's the climb..

The struggles I'm facing.. The chances I'm taking.. Sometimes might knock me down.. But no, I'm not breaking...

I may not know it.. But these are the moments that I'm gonna remember most, yeah, Just gotta keep going..

And I, I got to be strong.. Just keep pushing on...

-lyrics-

aah, maybe we've heard words like this for thousand times already.. maybe, maybe its stereotype.. but maybe its what we need the most right now :)

satu~

you sure know how to make a girl feel special... u sure know how to make girlssss GIRLSSS feel special..

unfortunately, i dont quite like that ;)

(err.. depends jua kali lah.. hahaha)

aku & aku

at this age, at this stage of life.. i, myself choose how to live my life.. i choose what to do, what to believe, who to befriend with, the way of thinking, the way to view life.. the way to find truth.. no one else could decide for me.. and i am, who i wanted to be, all by self-choice..

at this stage of life, i choose how to live my life.. and at this stage, its not too late to find out whether or not its a right choice..

smoga kita selalu diberikan hidayah dn petunjuk oleh Allah.. amin amin.