go away

hmmmm.. i feel so colourless lately. hahah. err.. i dont feel so fresh and light and alive? lack of fun in life i think. hehe. i dont see something new, different or interesting. apanya~ awu wh.. yg bennerr kali..

thurs, was probably the most extreme class ive ever had so far. ish, ish ish. sampit, sangal.. 2hrs bdiri.. bdiri smbil bsampit. baik nasib, kdg2 trujuh2 jua. baik th jua nda bebau. this arab girl th jua, memajal kn memasukkn kerusi. nda kau tau kh kerusi atu bsar? nda kau tau kh kau atu ahir dtg, jnth kn majal. nda kau tau kh bulih jimat space mn ko nda pyah duduk arh krusi BASAR atu? nda kau tau kh kau atu annoying? nah.. but then, on the opposite side.. rugged jua ia majal atu ah. i dont know how she sees thing, what was she thinking smpai ia majal cmatu (bnar kamu.. klw diliat klas atu,mcm nda ukum lgi krusi atu kn masuk bh. mn udh urg kn msuk pn btamu idung. heh) and at last, somehow ia dpat space utk krusinya. well, aman damai lh ia blajar. point taken- nda ku dpat concentrate eh!! it has always been like that fr syafi'e class-es. eh well, exam is just in less than a month. i hope we do well. very well. najah, insyaAllah. amin.

aaand we've been spending weekends membilak2 buku, and every other night, ada kelass malam itu. campur tulak- i have only one free night slash day. im not err.. complaining.. tpi, awuu ngalih plg.. but then, thats fr the better good. eseh. id rather be tired than sorry. itu kn.. ilmu? =D

and yes, wlwpun kunun2nya busy.. ive been spending my time watching movies jua. hehe. yth tu nh.. ahir plg tidur. i think taken is siuk. and dragon ball pn siuk. but then dragon ball atu.. fr those yg follow storynya dari awal.. i think, most of them nda ksiukan th kali tu.. maybe lh.. and plakonnya boring.. si goku sja yg ku kbisaian udh malar2 diliat atu. heheh

movie kite runner jua. if u havent read the book, u wont find the story interesting.. kali.. psalnya mcm boring wh. slow. and genrenya.. life. background, afghan surrounding mostly. the beauty of kite runner is in the way khalid brings in diff, strong characters. its irony. the lesson from it. the life in it. and... most of all, the beauty of his writing. thats what puts the movie one, two steps behind from the book. tpinya sedih jua ku eh. haha. but it took quite a long time fr me to immerse myself into the story and therefore kejiwa.. wowow. oh, and arh movie atu baruth nmpak the changing in amir's character. the irony of his personality & life. msanya damit vs ia bsar. remember when the father said- there is something missing in amir- a man who cant stand for himself cant stand fr others. and in the end, i love the way ia stand fr sohrab. lawaaa. ada ktegasan dlm klembutannya. eseeeeeh =p yth kn, baruku mliat movienya.. cos before ani nadaku rsa kn liat. sbab mcm boring or ganas.. tpi okay lah.. boring and ganas lies in between of siok and sedih. haha. and muka si hassan atu bari sayu sikit.. wish ia ada blakon time bsar jua. but nada..

okay.. off now.

die die sweetttt.. - why did i ever think of trusting you? bnarrrr th ehhhh..

umpama memarahi langau

i went to alex again last week. and last three weeks pn ku ksna jua. mcm urg nyanyat sja. haha. so anyway, i dont wanna comment alex. not my favourite lh..

that time, i saw these tourists, laki bini lah.. urg putih.. most of the time, drg tpksa stop2 sja cos urg arab kn bgmbar dgn drg.. after sorang, sorang lagi..... dan sorang... yoo, laku ni. whats in them? knapakn tu.. asal jmpa urg putih iski th urg kn bgambar. jeles jua ku tu. haha. lawa kh?? zoom in zoom in.. sdang jua. mcm urg putih yg biasa. i was complaining out loud "wah urg putih ah, kna bwa bgmbar ulih urg arab saja.. mn tknanya aku tu, nada pn prnah2 urg kn mbwa bgmbar. inda drg interested kn urg asia kh??" ceh, jeles kh? haha.

not long after that, ada tia this group of kanak2 dtg arh pjil and me, said "picture?" ; atu sja yg pling ku tdgr.. yg dlm kfahaman ku "can i take picture with u?" i was hesitated, krg salah fhm. i said yes plg tpi still unsure. i was ready to move if sbenarnya ckapnya atu "can u help me take a picture" nah.. krg barimalu sja. so anyway, bnr plg.. drg kn bgmbar sma kmi. yes, yes.. rupanya ada jua yg sudi. hahhaha.

bnar eh, it was my very first time di egypt ani urg take me as tourist, urg local kn mbwa bgmbar.. and.. direct wh, baru jua ku mengomplen a few minutes before atu.. skali ada tia bbnr urg mbwa bgmbar.. hihi.. tkajutku sbnrnya awal atu jua wishku granted.. just after aku mengomplen.. ((boo apa eh aku ah~~ haha..)) i remember writing here "i wish.. a stranger would stop me, asking to take a picture together" something catu lh. haha. not a big dream bhhh. =p tpi mksudku laki2 enggseemm plg tu. hahaha~ jadi th =D

"rindu. ada prasaan rindu tu bagus. itu maknanya kita masih hidup. sebab kita ada emosi" -AF. now, am i dead? haha. i feel less alive.

kaun banega crorepati?

me, presenting slumdog millionaire.... heh

ive just finished watching this movie. (JUST! ketinggalan bh eh aku ani). i read the synopsis, just before i watched it. it is very interesting. i was so iski [except fr the fact, its not so easy to hear clearly kaling ckap english atu]

so to say, plot storynya interesting brabis brabis brabis. it is very different dari movie2 yg lain. like, bh come on tell me howsss whysss he got the answer right! tapi tapi tapi unfortunately, indah plot dari isi crita sbenar. haiiiya. i was so iski, so curious.. maybe high expectation jua wh that it left me unstatisfied now. so many things went into my mind, like "oh this will be so interesting. this movie will show that uneducated ones can be successful. this will show that geniuses come from everywhere, not necessarily from formal education" "experience is the best knowledge" bla bla bla.. things like that. skalinya..... i didnt go like, "wow" when the past shows how he got the answer right. i didnt go like "ooh... cmatu.." -it didnt satisfied me. somewhere, somehow nda hit the rightest part of my sense. ok plg, but more to luck. ndalah sangat logic. i want him to be clever, in giving the reason. and i want the reason to be brilliant as well.

i focused on how he got the answers.. nothing else. sama sapa kh ya bcinta... nda ku pduli lah. but it turned out to be; love is his priority. the story plot turned out to be- all he has done, all his life was led by the girl he loved. bagiku lah. this movie shows "priority". our life, our decision will all be based on our priority. for the guy, jamal, for example his priority is that girl. for his brother, salim, is the money. and power maybe. who is torn between rich life and love for jamal. well, obvious diff of priorities are shown here; and how it leads on how it shaped us in the end. who we grow up to be.. etc2..

boring lah when those reasons nda strong. say, fr example: first ques: the hit film star in 1973? skali past storynya ia ke arh amitabh punya pnggambaran film kn tu, then ia mnta autographnya.. skali he knew the ans sebab katanya amitabh atu star pling famous di india. skalinya so what?? nda smestinya si amitabh th star film atu back in 1973. 1973!!! long before he was born. mengantam plg usulnya.. bknnya related bbnr sma pastnya pun. mcm in the past, (maybe in 1993), he met amitabh, the only most famous star he knew was amitabh, so he ans amitabh. lah, mna siuk tu reasonnya tu. ((ok,maybe msa si amitabh dtg atu, urg rmai bcakap he was the star back in 1973.. ok2.. tpi the way they showed the main point of the reason atu nda siok. nda smpai mksudnya, bagiku)) or did i miss something?

sma jua psal song atu.. was witten by who?? his story didnt exactly show ada urg menyabut writernya.. pkai takwil sndiri sja.. nda siok bh tu. nmpakkn tia bbnr bh.. ani, it shows that he has heard the name of the song sja, the rest.. its up to us to think what actually happened (in my case, maybe ada urg menyabut nma writer of the song kaliii) again, sorry if i did miss something.

so.. the movie is focused on how he got into the show th plg. and how the ques in that show atu klurusan tia jua related sma idupnya.. things he has seen or heard before.. (cana ia bleh ingat brabis atu ah?).. yg peliknya jua, knapa tia soalan2 atu utknya? soalan2 atu yg bkaitan dgn apa yg ia prnah liat.. ? iath.. last2nya.. jwapannya atu, it is written!!! tia.. nah..

and one more thing, i dont really like how they present muslim dlm movie atu (si jamal and salim). in the novel asal2nya, anak ani nada specific agama. to avoid religous issues in india. nada sbenarnya scene riot urg mbunuh muslim atu jua. plus, si jamal ani (on which nmanya bkn jamal of course), kna bsarkn ulih priest. that was the reason napa ia fluent in english. and salim bkn brothernya, bestfriend sja.

sooo conclusionku.. movie ani bisai plg whole ideanya.. plotnya.. (or should i say, synopsisnya yg bisai??! hmm..) and, bagus lh.. the way film india ani kna brought to the eyes of the world. ia jdi international. but, it is not a very good picture of india plg since critanya ani more to the rural, slums, poor, bad&cruel part of india. eh.. kejam wh msa riot drg against muslim atu sma time kanak2 atu kna use esp time mata drg kna butakn.. huhuuuu..

pointnya aku nda puas ati answernya is :written! bnr eh, mn udh written nda dpat dilwan lgi why smua atu mcm klurusan.. mn nmanya written.. apa2 pn jadi, jadilah.. no ques.. but anyway aku mau... something more brilliant. i want the ans to be: he is a born genius and observant bout life..ia nada chance skulah or live a good life, that he took experience as his best teacher.. cmatu lh.. hahaha.. bknku agaisnt something yg written.. tapi.. aah, dlm something yg written atu i think we can present something behind it in a more clear way or logic.. or.. eh, something cmatu lh.. there isnt necessarily always kebetulan.. kan,,? kah?

nda brapa siok eh bcrita psal slumdog ani. its quite hard fr me to bring what i mean..

and.. aku bcakap psal ani, only shows my weak points.. who am i attacking? this movie has won so many awards!

aaah well, u dont have to agree with me then. hehe. [mcm prison break kn, the way drg present ways and reasons smua atu.. very brilliant smpai aku nda kisah whether or not ia sbenarnya logic.. sooo? apakan.. haha]


above means: who wants to be a millionaire?; hindi version

oow.. life is a stranger

sometimes.. i cant control my emotions.. it doesnt go along with mind.. simple things bother you, just because u dont see it the way others do.. u dont see it the way u see it normally.. u overeacted.. but somehow.. it brings u back to ur nature.. or human nature; when u use nothing to control u.. to protect u- winded words but err..

ok2.. il give the wide perspective of it.. cos the real one, u know it.. but maybe u didnt see it the way i do.. so, yeah.. u wont understand.. u didnt.. and u might not..

here i go, one case:

u want something- to have that something u have to let go something else, cos u know u want it- on ur way of getting what u want, u lose so many other things- on ur way, everything went wrong, nothing the way u planned or imagined- and now u wonder IF its worth it to let go, to lose.. -u wonder IF the outcome will worth it, IF the result will be the way u wanted it- IF u will ever get what u want- and again, u begin to wonder IF u really want it, IF u deserve to want it, wonder and wonder IF u have made the right decision right from the beginning, u wonder where went wrong......

contohnyeee:

ure a lawyer, ure suddenly exposed to the world of filming, media and then ure interested in it.. well.. just like that.. ok, u tried once or twice doing the graphic or being the director.. u did ok.. still, doing 'ok' doesnt even seem promising; plus in the mean time ure a good lawyer, have so many good things to think of than the new film things- oh but now, u want to be in the film world- u gave up being a lawyer little by little (nda tarus plg, cos u know it best how to play safe)- on ur way of reaching where u want to be in the film industry, u let go one good case- on letting go one case, it adds to two.. three.. and four, just to be somewhere else- [note, ure not really there yet, but u think u will be there.. u can enter the film industry, u can play the role as director.. ]- letting go cases, ure losing one or two good clients- fine, nevermind.. u will fight.. nevermind losing some in order to gain some- BUT, having ur feet on film industry isnt easy.. ure new.. so many other good,handsome persona are queueing for the director role.. and hhhhh yeah, they have better exposure.. still, nevermind.. u can still fight.. -but u begin to think now.. if u were to fight, to continue fighting... do u fight for something u really want? do u want it more than them? is it fair to win over something u dont deserve cos someone else is losing what they really really want? will u do better than the lost one?- now, u will think.. is it worth it? to lose so many things just to win something that others want more than u do, where they are better than u are- and u know, there's only two choices: one, going back to where u were.. let go what ure creating and start over again : two, go on... take the risk.. u will end up getting what u want; to know that u really want it just like they do OR.. end up regretting ur decision right from beginning...

its no one's fault that nothing turned out the way u want it.. but, still...

oh man, its not life if its not about choices and decision.. huh?

and u know how this simple thing tells u a abit about life, about ur own self..