glad i was there

so i say, goodbye.....

im glad to have this opportunity... i feel a little heavy inside tho... for the good, for the bad, il be missing those days.. i told u.. haha. its bitter sweet, but im so grateful for the experience.. im more than happy to have met such sweet friends and even sweet strangers.. i like the bond that we have now.. its surprising.. i dont wanna lose this, but... time is the true betrayer... wwawa

the thing i love most is observing, experiencing diff type of people.. esp manusia senegara sndiri yg ... yg.. "beperangai" i should say? yg yg... very different.....

oh i had the chance to have some conversation with this IRANIAN, Syiaah. interesting. but it was more of lecture than a healthy conversation lh.. it was my very first long meeting with someone who has quite diff view about Islam. not that its wrong, but different. ytah, i was stumbling a bit.. plus, i had to watch my boundary dgn manusia2 yg sdang2 "CONFIRM" aniiiii. the next time i ever get the chance, it will be different. i will be different. ewahhh

and... ive heard bout this very narrow minded man.. his view about Islamic studies... about Islam.. man, he is so narrow that i wanted to knock him on the head. a part of me wished ia ckap dgn aku and he successfully crossed the boundary.. il make him angry as much as he made me.. knapakn wujud urg cmatu atu???? again, if i ever meet this kind of manusia.. i will do something.. someday jua, il talk about this again...

some of manusia lgi... maybe ada brain tpi kurang akhlak.. kurang responsibilities...

ive seen this prangai jua... a lady kbasaran... prasan important.. puihhhh... klw negaraku ani kna flooded with these types of people.... HAHAHAHAHA...

"tonite, u will see the true colours of everyone"- i dont wanna see it.. id rather not know.. the world, the life is too wide, too big to be seen with these small eyes... bohoho... whats with the true colours? yeah, sure work is work, life is life... but i hate to know the sickening way of life.. of most manusiaaaa...

so yes, the world is dying

~~no rewinds~~ no second chance??~~

maybe i can see ur halo~

i feel guilty somehow when i use my senses...

i feel like.. i dont make good decisions.. i dont do the right thing.. my senses is just so wrong.. the way i act is irrational? and sometimes.. i cant control my emotions.. and i know sometimes im rude? yes, i hate that part of me.. haha

haha. im learning a lot of DONTS lately.. thanks to YOU.. but you make me feel like a dumb. congratulations eh. feels the eyes on me, us.. u make everyone else look at me, us differently.. in a bad different way.. im not blaming u on everything.. its maybe on me, us jua.. MAYBE.. but the team fails when the leader is a failure.. sorry, but thats how i look at u.. nda kau malu kh tu?

as much as i hate what i see, what i feel, what im going thru.. im learning thou, im observing.. im growing up.. whether or not its in a good way..

somewhere along the line somehow.. i met a lot of great people.. great friends.. thanks..

just so u know.. im gonna miss this..

im gonna miss this...

i know i will...

......

maybe i hate what im going thru now...

when every little thing seems to bring u down.. when there is a lot that u dont know.. when there is a lot of mistakes that u do.. u did.. u will do.. when there is a lot of things u need to learn.. a lot of things is unfamiliar.. a lot of things u do not agree at, loads of people u have to deal with..

where uncertainty is everywhere around u, everywhere in u...

when everything seems to make u feel like trapped.. and and.. everything u do is just wrong... even worse, when u dont know what to do...

u feel like ure not good enough..

and.. there is a lot of things that u hate..

annoyance that u cant tolerate..

im just... tired... i miss everyone, everything.. i miss my LIFE

yea, so i brokedown and cried...

afraid that the pressure will squeeze me to death lgi esuk2.. HAHA

S.O.S

:p