bawa aku terbang~

ive grown enough to know that 4, 5 yrs later.. il be looking back at these days and say "wahh kanak2 jua ku msa ku umur 21 atu ah?"

...il unfold the memories. and laugh at their silliness. cry at the sweetness. make faces at the bitterness. il read back these posts and realise how child-like it sounded. il remember things i said and laugh back at them. il remember my feelings, my thoughts.... how irrational they were? il laugh back at my photos.. at the way i dressed up.. laugh at my silly actions... even laugh at my dreams when i was 16, 17.. and yes, at those age, i thought ive grown up. now, i know... ive never grown up enough. not even at this age.

...but no matter how hard i laughed at my immaturity, that what makes me grow up, always growing up. probably, il never have the kind of thought i had when i was seventeen.. eighteen... the kind of laughters.. freedom.. the colourful dreams.. that somehow were wiser in a way- than they will ever be. i learned a lot from my kanak-kanak thought. my past makes me who i am. ive been thru a lot, but not enough to know what life is all about...

...maybe thats why when we talk to children at eye-level.. we will both learn something... like, we cant be as colourful, creative, and honest as children are... as we grow up, we begin to forget the basic fundamentals of life... all the simple things... sometimes, we just try too hard to find the answers that are right in front of us.

...hu, behapakn ku?

our internet connection might be cut-off lusa. 1st jan 2009. [not might be, but will be!]. weve been warned. katanya, if we dont pay the phone bill by the end of dec 2008, our internet connection will be cut off. awu eh, batah udh nda bebayar tlipun ah. slalunya we asked tuan rumah untuk bayar. but... biasalah urg arab, ten thousand excuses!! then, we dont even make the effort kn bjalan ke central atu mbayar tlipun. psal... mcm malas.. sma, to think of it- isnt that ok not to have internet connection time exam ani? i dont know. i think so.. antah eh. lets just see, klau si tuan rumah byarkn tlipun ada th internet tu. mn nda, nada tia. biar tia. lets work our veins,muscles out for the papers. [ohoho.. alum byk ku revise]. oh so anyway, dont miss me.

2008 has been great. so was 2007. i hope 2009 will be greater. amin.

its not too late to say selamat maal hijrah 1430 ait? selamat taun baru. may us all mnjadi lbih baik~~~

To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment- Ralph Waldo Emerson

dua puluh lapan disember

fahzilleana emey aae, happy birthday~ wahai budak, ure turning 22nd! =)

di malam kn.. kau cakap arhku: "kau mana marah. kau mana bulih marah. aku tau, psal arini birthdayku"... so, skalikn.. awu, aku mana marah psal kau mana bulih marah jua, aku upload gambarmu yg ani. [ko birthday~ ko birthday~ kn kn? =D] ..lpas tu ku bagi jnggut itam putih lagi. jnggut ertinya ure getting older.. haha. i couldnt decide, kn bagi jnggut colour itam kh putih? itam kh putih? last2 ku bagi dua2 wrna. cool kn? ;p sorry eh, cemeh janggutmu. nada masaku kn melawakn nih.. klau lmbat2 ku post, nda sampat.. expired tia 28 dec. antah2, nmpak ko kali aku edit gmbarmu ani tdi? haha~





early 2008:




end 2008:






and.. aku upload yg ani psal... it looks so pajil.. sdang lah.. hehe



best wishes for you. in everything...

Hope it adds
some special pleasure
To the hours of your day
To know you're being thought of...
in this very simple way...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY

move along, move along like i know you do

"immune ku udah bunyi latuk2 ani- nada yg lagi bising kh? yg begagar?"

probably uve seen my pm; or-so-i-call, nick putih. HEE. i dont remember since when urg di bangunan kami ani latuk2. i am not even sure di dingkat atas kah bwah (err..??).. it seems like for ever. macam.. sejak2nya aku balik smula kmari? or lpas puasa? antah.. ndakn drg ani marah kali? kn balas dndam bagas kmi antak2 main ddr duuluu?? [apanyaa aku ani~] so anyway... brngkali batah2 ani ndaku tkacau lagi bunyi latuk2.. bunyi antak2.. bunyi drill drg ani.. bannar.. tidur nyaman jua, blajar pun ok jua.. kn i told u, aku udh immune? haha. rsanya mcm bunyi angin udh, mcm bunyi desiran pasir, kicauan burung. HAHA.

goodluck with ur latuk2 mr arab. (nda plgku tau mn bni2 yg mndrill2 ani). apakn kmu buat? renovate kh mbuat rumah kaca kh? bh.. mudahan th lakas siap. (nooo! il be missing the noise then. kekke)

its just... exam is coming. i remember noises i couldnt tolerate. noises that annoyed me. now, makes me think, will i still be immuned ? can i tolerate latuk2 ani by then udh exam? maybe...

bah aku kn mengapal ni. jn jeles. haha- mliat urg punya nick.. blog.. people talking.. and... yes, let me step up too. mncari smangat yg ilang~~~ ;p

mudahan tani smua najah. amin =)

(eksenku plg ngapal lpas ani, mkanku dulu)

nia ismail-

1. Do you think you're hot?

- nda, charming sja. ada jua tu arh profile. HAHA. no, if i were.. then u wouldnt even dare to look at me. hehe

2. Upload your favourite picture of you.

3. Why do you like that picture?

-those pics? hihi.. aku telah melanggar aturan~ number 1? psal its soo egypt and aku suka gmbar yg urg2nya beselerak

-two. it was fun. and i did the complete 6 laps. and jarang2 kn dbuat. and lawa jua tuuu ;p

-number 3? nothing particular. aku tnmpak pic atu tdi. those tiring but fun but beneficial and priceless days.

-four. i can see reflections of tukang gambar. and pmandangan blakang sikit2. and that phone booth (yang full figure lah. malas tia ku upload) actually buat kami rasa rsahan di london skajap. boo~ haha

-five. beselerak. and thats me! in my puma buruk (tpi ku suka kali ah).. well, me in own my shoes =)

banyak lagi ehh.. mn kn mlayan~ sangal krg blakangku.. hehe..

4. When was the last time you ate pizza?

- masa kelass malam ituu kali..

5. The last song you listened to?

- apanah? uptown girl~ westlife. he's my uptown boy~ i think kampong boy is much preferred? nde? awu? kampong in my own definition. maka... theyre in the brink of extinction

6. What are you doing now besides this?
-nada papa.. internet ani nganya

7. What name would you like prefer besides you?
- marilyn monroe kali nyaaaaaa????

People I tag:

1- sucre PB (Amaury Nolasco)

2- stephen fung?

3- becky bloomwood

4- paul scheuring

5-

8. Who is number 1?

-He's the sweetest friend ever. in film. hah-hah

9. Number 3 is having a relationship with?

-luke brandon

10. Say something about number 5

-kalau rambutku udah putih dan rontok.. gigi lagi rompang.. would u stand by my side~ would you be the only one who would say i am beautiful? yea~

11. How about number 4

- PB's creator. also head writer of PB. suka~ suka~

12. Who is number 2?

-ooh i love his dimples msa dulu2.. maybe, still? ndaku tau~

i tag no one. cos i always late~ hehe

when the cold wind blow...

i set my alarm at 9am. tpi.. bangun ahir lagi lh.. and wondered.. skulah kh.. nda kh.. i thot, yes, i can escape this 11am class and go for 1pm class. psal ada revision. it'll be more important. awu.. nda.. awu.. and i decided to go skulah.. for the 11am class.. (credit to me credit to me! haha) -9am nada class cos bnarnya class atu for the subject in sem 2-

i woke up... and saw a beautiful sunshine... oh.. my day would just gonna be fine.. but its so windy.. cold wind.. nevermind.. then, along the road, i saw a chinese guy. pkai topi aji. landed my eyes on him. like a full 30 secs. and he looked back. comel eh. haha. i think, mliat cina dsni ani is some sort of... cool. hihi.

the 11am class was SO-SO sja. macam biasa... then, when it has ended.. we headed to surau. ada tia urg malaysia ani randomly btnya.. klurusan tia aku yg bjalan dpannya time atu.. "dah takde apa-apa kn? boleh balik dh kn?" i looked at her, with some kind of confidence "ada.. pukul satu.. class nahu saraf. munaqashah" she looked puzzled. or maybe frustrated. and went to her friends. hush-hushing.. maybe to make sure.

when i went back from surau.. i heard them saying "eh kamu, manada class. mnada nahu saraf. tadi udah pukul 9" tooinggg.. padan th urg malaysia atu nda puas ati =D well, we missed the class. HEE

awu.. aku nadakn dbuat ni =p

bagi aku exam fever... seriously, i need it! i need the spirit!

leave... leave... leave...

multiply isnt working. minor upgrades laa nya.. and.. internet connection has zero point nine quality. alum plg ku mental.. sikit lagi. haha.

i saw a collection of levi's watch a few days ago at one of the malls here. theyre awesome. bnar. if only i had a boyfriend (or with 's' haha), i'd buy one for him (them?). HAHA. screw it. no one wants a boyfriend because she wants to buy a levi's. a man's levi's. haha.

plus ive finished reading the shopaholic [dui yg first bh]. becky's secret dreamworld. i wish i hadnt read the 3rd dulu, so it'll be more fun. that i didnt know becky is with luke, etc etc.. so.. shopaholic is absolutely cali.. tpi, its kind of.. err.. [i wanna type in boring] tpi.. thats not fair. its not exactly boring.. tpi.. apa ah? ada part yg boring. mcm balik2. critanya pun nda luas. and maybe quite predictable. and almost stereotype. but its the kind of which you want to read more plg. and addicted lagi. kalau nda, nda tia best-selling. well, i love becky bloomwood. [shopaholic lovers, dont hate me for this. hhaaha. i do love the books. just.. my honest comment. ceh =p]

hmm.. i hate the fact that people tend to be carelessly think physical appearence/beauty is an important thing that their partner (or spouse) must have. like.. the first thing to be scanned and scaled. apalaa.. i should go with nature alam kali lh, physical beauty is the ultimate attraction. hah-hah-hah. cali. (but yeah, it will never be the first thing that u want in ur someone right? or il hate you, hahaha)


ooh anyway dancing is a cool show-off. haha. astaga. nda bulih eh. im actually talking about step up. i watched step up 1 again. and.. im still loving it. hehe. step up 2? ndaku brapa suka..

plus ive spent my days watching dvds. this particular line(s) are pretty cool:
"i hated leaving Ted"-"Ted made me feel like i'd finally found home"-"the problem was, i wasnt sure if i was ready to be home"

..yes, laugh at me.. haha


bh lets get back to bussiness.. revision bh revision.. hihi.. esuk skulah~~~

~ooo i became somebody, thru loving you~

make me feel like home, il stay...

"home is part of us. it's in the scars we have on our knees and elbows, in the memories that surface when we sleep. i dont think you can ever leave" the book, home again

-this covers a large meaning. one is that we can always find home in ourselves. whenever we feel lost, useless, hopeless.. look inside. look around. home is there =) no reason to give up life. no reason to run away from fears. face it. cos we might just end up right where we began. and to someone, i admire enough the strength in you that i would never have.. i wish, i pray that you-us all will breathe easier someday -

psstss.. && home is in us, so dont miss home. haha

where should i begin ni? ive said million times over.. that.. apanah? about the road in cairo. how much i hate menyebarang jalan raya and things related la. so, il just say it again. haha. sabar sja nah~

just now, we went to cross the road. i saw dari jauh ada three guys bjalan plg siring2 atu.. and suddenly, one of them approached us. [to be specific my partner lh di approachnya cos we stood quite far from each other] ia tnya "kmu kn menyebarang?" i thought that was just for the sake of asking. or mengacau sjakh.. apakh.. but then ia ckap "bah.. form a straight line. lajuth menyebarang" tapi ndaku brapa caya. so i waited. i mean, more to kbngangan. then he said that again. i was hesitated. mnaku siuk menyebarang sma rmai2 urg. lagith, ndaku suka menyebarang sma urg arab. extreme. at last, i put my trust on him. haha ceh. it was dangerous, but andngnya bh style dorang menyebarang. i know drivers can tolerate with them. and they just know how to do the menyebarang thing. andal ni drg ni.

this reminds me of my previous2 post arah multiply psal kmi menyebarang atu. the paci. except this time, no hand is held-grabbed. haha. psal yg ani muda. handsome lagi. plus situationnya nda kritikal. menyebarang road biasa sja. skali2..when we reached the other side safely... that guy balik smula ke sbarang. so, he crossed the road with us just for the sake of helping? cool. sweet. and gentleman enough. haha. awuu.. otherwise i would say ia mengambang. but for what reason would i interpret him that way? its not like we will remember his face pun. nda kenal. nda jumpa. so yes, he is such a gentleman. =)

last time jua, when i had to cross the road.. aku ni bediri siring a woman. arab. antah eh, asak2 th ku jua arah ia ani. tau udh urg diri2 sna, mau2 lagiku siring ia tu. ytah, sanak kali ia aku tu menyamak and slalu toleh2 arah ia [since i had to watch out for the cars].. last2 tnyanya "behapa ko kn? kn lalu kh?" i assumed, lalu as in mlintas dpan ia. i replied "kn mlintas jalan" ia- "ah.. sbarang jalan ani?" i nodded. "oh oh.. ok" i was confused sbenarnya. psal lpas atu sibuk2 tia ia jua alert mliatkn krita. i was like, ia kn dgni aku menyebarang kh? apakn? salah2 th ku jua kn menyebarang. mcm, ia atu nda jua bgarak2. until it seemed safe to go, she shouted like "bah. menyebarang!" haha.. sweet jua lah. bole lah~ hehe.

enough about the roads.

lajuth tidur, esuk skulah~ :P [[2345 CAI now]]

11.10 degree celcius

no updates! yea~ haha.. no ten thousand excuses from me. i hate excuses. yes, thats one thing you should know about me. i hate excuses and ive learned its best not to use any of them- in most situations. it kills you, in some ways. but doesnt mean we cant use it at all. like desperate situations? mesti lah reasonable jua. no no.. no crap-a-designed-excuses. just honesty. honesty =) and no blame on other people or things too. -sorry if you find this contradicts with myself. mnatau aku slalu buat alasan. or cmatulah. so means, i hate that part of myself too, then-

il catch up soon. karang kali.. esuk kali.. psal esuk aku nda skulah haha. awal th ku bagitau tu nah.. atas ALASAN, esuk nada subject sem satu. skali aku MALAS. equals to = malas lah sja

i want a full one day off. nada kraja siang. nada kraja malam. no class, no tuition, no study group, no jalan.

youre not just a stranger, youre THE stranger.....

most of the time, when i want to update, i can picture the things i wanna say,share in my head- sebab atu th arh multiplyku jarang2 beupdate dulu. ndaku tpkikir and and malas. hihi- msani i just dont know where my post leads to..

so since i dnt know my direction, lets start with this?

"yoo apa ada yo?"
"nada yoo. ngarat kambing, lpas tu tidur. ko behapa?"
"nada.. ngarat lembu, lpas tu tidur"
"bannar.. bannar"

*di ambil dari iklan 'teh tarik asli budi banar'*

yoo.. anyway, ignore that. selamat menyambut aidiladha. semoga haji muslilmin muslimat diredhai Allah dan mabrur. amin.

two days we went berusah2 memotong2 daging korban. that was tiring. tpi ngaleh yg rugged. keke. apakn. batah udh ndaku migang laptopkuu ehh.. no, maybe 3-4 days. klw ku on pun, biarkn sja palak2 msn tu.. thats all.. then,time exam il be MIA again. sehari dua. lpas tu gatal tia tngan~ anyway wish us luck for this coming exam. doakan kami..

last time kn, we went for a late night movie. we were among the last yg kluar dri wayang atu. i saw this couple dgn anaknya. andang jua drg atu duduk siringku msa movie ah. anaknya tidur dri awal dh. yth, dh kluar... anaknya ani tidur bejalan. haha. banar. bapanya pigang tgnnya, and the daughter jalan-beirit style [eh bahasa], with the eyes closed. kasian. hehe. tpi cali usulnya =D ytah, ia nda mau bjalan msa kn turun tngga. mnath jua kn bjalan mn kn tidur brabis.. (skalinya knapa th ku bcrita psal ani?? hmmmm...)


skali... skali...... twilight is a must!! hehe. aku mau liat. psal... plakonnya wassap wassap. haha, nda deh. interesting critanya, plus awu lh plakon rugged jua. dulu2 kn mbali udhku buku new moon/twilight tpi too fiction tia. i thought it will be difficult to get attached to it. ndaku jdi mbali. nda apalah, liat tia movie dlu baru baca bku. [or malas th ku ingau kn mbaca]. tapi TAPI, aku mau baca shopaholic yg first before ku liat movienya. mesti ni mesti..... =)

ciao then

for you

RULES:
1. put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc on shuffle.
2. for each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
4. put any comments in brackets after the song name.
5. tag 6 people.

Are you a male or female?
lelaki ini- anuar zain (yoo.. mengapa.. tkana lagu ani tia plg~~)

Describe yourself!
tanpa kekasihku- agnes (hahaha antah kau)

What do people feel when they’re around you?
shy boy- jordin sparks (apanya.. urg malu2 kh arhku? jengzz th bnr)

Describe your current relationship.
tanyaku- sheila on 7 (tanyamu.. tanyaku.. kita smua btnya.. haha)

Where would you like to be now?
ruang rindu- letto (awu aku mau di sini, tpi jgn lah ia menyakitkn~~ ;p)

How do you feel about love?
tell me tell me baby- n'sync (yes, tell me tell me baby~)

What’s your life like?
ruby- kaiser chiefs [seindah permata batu delima merah. wahh. mudahan sja =) ]

What would you ask for if you had only one wish?
one in a million- bosson (cool eh jwapanku. haha)

Say something wise.
Androgyny- Garbage

If someone says “is this okay?” you say,
guilty- the rasmus (guilty.. wo o oh.. psal? aku kan esen2 ckap "awu.. okay eh" without meaning it?? kali.. haha)

How would you describe yourself?
sarangne- full house punya soundtrack (eh lurus kh tajuknya ani? ejaannya lagi th ku nda tau)

What do you like in a guy/girl?

trouble- pink (trouble.. rugged jua trouble.. tapi baik.. tapi bisai.. haha)

How do you feel today?
chasing cars- snow patrol (avoiding cars. vans. mutusikal. bas. yg jahat2 dan laju. lalala~ eh, bukan, chasing you? =D atau chasing time? awu chasing time, this week)

What is your life’s purpose?
the diary of jane- breaking benjamin (i will try to find my place in the diary of jane~ ..in everyone's diary? err... tertulisnya nmaku di buku sejarah? haha)

What is your motto?
because you loved me- celine dion (i am everything i am, because of those who has always been standing firm beside me. *senyum*)

What do your friends think of you?
hey stranger- melee (duiii lai.. boring. jngan eh. nda kuasa. =p)

What do you think of your parents?
tunjukkan padaku- sheila on 7 (mereka yang terindah prnah ku lihat~)

What do you think about very often?
S.E.W- samsons (antah apakn ni? lagunya yg english ah. something2 yg il be missing you~ and il be waiting fr you~)

What is 2 + 2?

if only in heaven's eyes- n'sync

What do you think of your best friend?
love today- mika (dan kmarin. dan esok. dan lusa. selalu)

What do you think of the person you like?
wordplay- jason mraz (let me put it this way, someone who'd loved to play with words. or sweet talker. no no eh. bila masanya ku kn suka urg catu... say only what you mean ooo~)

What is your life story?
never gonna leave your side- daniel beddingfield (aww...)

What do you want to be when you grow up?
warisan wanita terakhir- teacher's pet (yo.. wow. haha. bh, wanita yg baik di dunia, wanita yg baik di akhirat. cantekk)

What do you think of when you see the person you like?
pilih lah aku- sheila on 7 (aku aku.. lurus tu.. pilih aku.. klau aku yg trbaik untukmu, klau aku senyummu, bahagiamu, pilihlah aku.. ayoyo.. hahahaha)

What will you dance to at your wedding?
4 in the morning- gwen stefani (tarian rabah2 kali? tarian urg mengantuk bh ~~ hehe)

What will they play at your funeral?
musnah- andra & the backbone (aii.. direct meaning tu. kasar kmu aahh.. jgn eh =p)

What is your hobby/interest?

cut off time- omarion feat kat deluna (eemmm?)

What is your biggest fear?
yesterday- leona lewis (maybe... dosa2 ku hari kelmarin. and those mistakes.. what if, esok lusanya aku msih jdi pendosa? that i never learn?.. ewahh~)

What is your biggest secret?
miss you- enrique eglasias (miss you? hehe. nah kdapatan tia aku mnyimpan lagu enrique. haha)

What do you think of your friends?
surgaMu- ungu [who am i without them? =)]

What will you post this as?

for you- samsons (ytah2.. i was hoping for something yg ngam and bisai utk yg last ani. bagus2. haha. awu, untukmu. untuk yg menTAG. untuk smua~~)

siuk rupanya mbuat tag yang ani ni. haha. =)

december, 5th

yes, the address-isnot-available misses me. you, you and you nda? ahah. ive abandoned the blog skajap. soo okay. the world didnt care, i know. my absence didnt make a single difference pun. [no, unless u want to admit out loud that my presence means something. HAHA]

cos..... ive been busy? i dont have the mood? there's nothing to share to make you laugh, marah, banci, think or criticize? antah nyanta ehh..

ngalehku. class smpai ptang. then, buat itu ini. study group. and everything. everything that makes me think i dont want to write in something here. udah2.. i dont want to complain much. lets live more. -complain less, live more- kata si robert.. ahah

apakan nii.... im stucked. haha. okay2.. msatu aku tliat a skidded motorcycle msa ia kn membelok.. i mean u-turn. it made that "screeetttt" sound. skali, the motorcyclist fell off... no, ia nda plg cedera or anything kali... bdiri ya dgn bergaya. wuseh. naa.. its just one of the scenes yg ku nda suka liat. see see, drivers/ cyclists / bikers (pengguna jalan raya lah. hehe.) di cairo ani bahaya. just one thing... i liked the way that guy bediri smula, not long after ia tegugur. it reminds me of how we should be strong. that whenever we fall, we'll have to pick ourselves up... sendiri! antah eh, im in this mood of muhasabah diri. haha. tia krg ;p sdang~~

lagi... cooling pad ku yg pnah ku megah2kn atu rusak udh. kipasnya yg BASAR, LAJU atu nda lagi bpusing. haha.

kn jalankuuu... tapi ngalehku. malas jua. plus busy. and will be busIER. exam is coming.

stucked-stop-lapar-sangal-rindu-sleep-but i want to say something- those are the words yg pusing2 di utak ku msani. yihaa

ehh see this line

"I saw a bird crossing the road. Laju lagi tu ia bejalan, dapat jua kali ahh ia trabang saja.. haha, calii.. "

its SK's. from her blog. sorry ahh aku curi words mu aniii. haha. it.... makes me think..... for that so many choices the bird has, why did it walk-or-run? for that pair of proud sayap, why didnt the bird use it? antah.... just so many things, questions, answers...

aii.. pkul 4am plus2 udh, i have to wake up early esuk :( *hello, before nine is early klau ku ahir tdur cmani*

anyway... -sir abbas yg panggil aku depdep. (ciguku di smalhb. hehe) mannn.. i miss him. miss to have a good laugh with him :) -

pssttss.. nanti ku mbuat tag.. [janji palsu kh nda? ;p]